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Thanks for loving me even when I push you away

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    Thanks for loving me even when I push you away

    The link I've posted below is for the people dealing with a loved one who has a mood disorder, from somebody who has one (me).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHC3M7KL2ns

    There are times when I feel like Oscar the Grouch, and I really don't want anybody knocking on my garbage can lid. Or singing around me. Or, God forbid, giving me a hug. But even when I'm a total Oscar (and worse) it's still nice to know you care. And underneath, I do too. I just can't always fight through the illness to tell you so.
    Last edited by uni; August 1st, 2018, 12:26 AM.
    uni

    ~ it's always worth it ~

    #2
    When I was 5 and watched Sesame Street, Oscar was my favorite... maybe that was the first sign of things to come...

    Kaight

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      #3
      I am finding it difficult to deal with the pushing away... at first it seemed i was begging to be "taken back" and now i react differently " if she wants to go than i will allow her to leave" ... but neither approach works... or at least thats what i am being told... what does one do in these situations? what is the right way to respond.. if there is one .... lst time i said I would help her leave if thats what she wanted ( at the time i felt why would i force you to stay somewhere that you don't want to be" but than i am told ( when she is calm ) that it makes her feel like I don't care or want her/us..... confused

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        #4
        sorry.. i just re-read... when I said "allow " her to leave .. i didn't mean it in a way that i am being controlling... I would support her leaving ( even though it kills me inside) if thats what she wants ....

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          #5
          Thanks for posting the link Uni.

          Welcome to the forum wantstounderstand.
          AJ

          Humans punish themselves endlessly
          for not being what they believe they should be.
          -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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            #6
            I feel like this is something I do to my fiancee all the time. Bless his heart, he is still by my side through it all. He's truly a blessing, and a light at the end of my long, dark tunnels.

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              #7
              so i work in a call center.. and my job is with a team.. there is one guy that i became work friends with while in training... i just heard after coming back from my weekend off.. that my team is being disbanded... and i am going to another supervisor ... turns out its my friends team and my wife is freaking out ... she does this because her self esteem is low and is threatened that I have been with men in my past... i keep telling her that I am with her.. and devoted to her.. but when she is upset.. the world stops.. to her .. we must cancel whatever event or holiday is coming up.. birthday christmas thanksgiving...etc... i work really hard reassuring her that nothing will happen and that I love her.. but its tiring...

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                #8
                so that co-worker i mentioned earlier is not with the company anymore. I went on STD for 6 weeks for surgery ( don't worry nothing was really wrong, just my other wrist Carpal Tunnel) he quit while i was away .. at least i don't have to worry and stress about how DW is going to feel if i mention that I have spoken to him... Now she is just waiting for the 1 year DBT program to start... she said that she was told to prepare for things to get worse before they get better... has anyone else had a loved on in an extended DBT program? also the hospital that it is at has a support group for the family members... which I am going to take part of ... it would help me help her ... and understand more of what she is going through...

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                  #9
                  Hello wantstounderstand. Although I've been on extended disability in the past, I've never had a loved one on it or been in your shoes that way. I do think it's great that there's a group for family members -- not something I've heard of before. I hope it helps you out.
                  uni

                  ~ it's always worth it ~

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                    #10
                    Thanks Uni. Apparently its the best program for people with certain mood disorders. and from what I have heard most people wth BPD, deal with little to no issues after the program is done.. heres an info link...

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                      #11
                      Thanks for the link; that's very interesting information,
                      uni

                      ~ it's always worth it ~

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                        #12
                        I know that i said previously that things will get worse before they are better.. but I am exhausted... I have started the Family Connections Program with my MIL. but the pushing away and wanting back is getting to be a lot. I am going to be bringing this up in our group on Tuesday and see what the leaders say... But just exhausted......

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                          #13
                          Hi wantstounderstand. Being exhausted is no picnic, that's for sure. It has a way of making everything look worse. Did you glean anything helpful at your group on Tuesday?
                          uni

                          ~ it's always worth it ~

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                            #14
                            I did.. and the week after that.. I really helps when you have people that are in the same boat as yourself... I even spoke with her therapist today... and she encouraged me to keep in touch... Thank you for asking

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                              #15
                              That is good news! When you say
                              "It really helps when you have people that are in the same boat as yourself" I have found the same to be true.
                              uni

                              ~ it's always worth it ~

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