Help, this is 2nd go around with a teen age daughter. She is mostly a sweetie, but tries to use my bipolar as an excues for arguments & avoiding chores. Then she tells a whole different story to my husband who works nights. She is polite to me when she is home; but rude when dad not around! Help!
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Ah, teenagers.
I've got to admit, it's a stretch to imagine just how one could use a bipolar condition to avoid chores, but if it can be done, I'm pretty sure a teenager can find out how!
Avoiding chores and arguing is pretty much a natural outcome of any interaction with teenagers. I don't mean that in an entirely negative stereotype, but part of growing up is exploring your limits. Playing one parent against another is a common tactic as the limits usually differ. Despite best intentions, kids will exploit this. Annoying yes, but pretty much the norm.
With your spouse working nights, you have a particularly tough situation in that you become the primary rule enforcer and bear the brunt of the accompanying teenage resentment. Make it clear to your daughter that your bipolar affliction is off limits. It will be tough to do, but make sure you do not use your affliction as an excuse for unpopular decisions.
It's hard work raising a family, good luck! -
Welcome to the forum Storm Chaser.AJ
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-Comment
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Welcome to the forum stormchaser. I can't say how much bipolar does affect your daughter, but I know mine his left me pretty weak at times, to the point where I spent most of my time sleeping.
However other times it left me super energized as well.
Our oldest had a bad habit of slacking off on his chores sometimes and he would tell Mom (or Dad, as the case may be) that the other one had given them permission to skip said chore for reasons AB or C. It worked a few times, then we got wise and when we caught him distorting the truth or telling us different stories then we added punishments to his chores.
In order to do that my wife and I had to work as a team and insist that if was going to try an excuse, it had better be the same one for both of us. Take Care. paul m"Alone we can do so little;
Together we can do so much"
Helen KellerComment
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Hi Fighting Back, I agree teen agers are adept at using any means to get out of chores! I have four children; two grown (m & f) & out of house & two teens (m & f) at home. I don't know if it's hormonal or not, but arguments seem to happen far more often with my girls than with my sons. After I calmed down & spoke to my husband, we agreed she would miss a sports practice the next day if her room wasn't cleaned, room cleaned without a word. Both my husband & I talked with her and said my illness was off limits for getting out of chores but that she could talk to us calmly about how it affects her. I don't have rough days too often anymore, but I know they are hard on the whole family. Thanks for your tips.Comment
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Thanks, definitely team work helps, my husband has agreed to help with the situation. It all got done, seems like small potatoes now....typical!Comment
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