What a question to have to ask!
If you have been reading some of my other posts, you may know I am returning to part time work. This work is seasonal, and it will take me away from home for weeks at a time. Last week was my first field assignment. It was fantastic! I was productive and motivated and felt the appreciation from my colleagues and supervisors. Only hitch was an unexpectedly severe allergic reaction as the work is outdoors and I likely was exposed to ragweed. This was a great concern and I have made a promise to my coworkers that I will seek medical advice on this condition. Weather conditions forced us off the jobsite yesterday and the decision was made to return home to allow the fields to dry out.
I drove home and arrived in the usual disarray that my life has become. I share my home with my spouse and 2 adult offspring. All of their problems remained unsolved, the grass remained uncut, the cars needed attention and there was no progress on any renovation projects. They know how I feel about participation in the household routine and they know my displeasure in that nearly every activity requires my direct involvement. They choose instead to hone their video game skills, read a book, or sleep in late. No one is out earning a salary except me and that is not by my choice or direction. Within an hour of arriving home, I felt the hopelessness creep in.
I could continue to rant, but I learned long ago that it really won't change anything. I would like to get the help this family needs, but how? Any attempt to discuss falls on deaf ears and I will be accused of being dictatorial, but I cannot continue with this. This morning the phone call arrived that we will be back in the field early next week. I am forcing myself through the next few days with the anticipation that I can escape this circus soon. I made an appointment with the MD to discuss the allergy situation, but I will postpone it just so I can get back out. Of course, that just postpones the inevitable and winter will come soon enough. Allergies will subside and the chores and projects will disappear under the snow only to reemerge next spring. Again, I can expect no help.
I don't believe I am overbooking. We are talking about basic household maintenance here, like cutting the grass. Outside of the revelations of the last 24 hours, I have hoped not to put my family life on my list of triggers for my depression. Has my family become toxic? How do I deal with that?
If you have been reading some of my other posts, you may know I am returning to part time work. This work is seasonal, and it will take me away from home for weeks at a time. Last week was my first field assignment. It was fantastic! I was productive and motivated and felt the appreciation from my colleagues and supervisors. Only hitch was an unexpectedly severe allergic reaction as the work is outdoors and I likely was exposed to ragweed. This was a great concern and I have made a promise to my coworkers that I will seek medical advice on this condition. Weather conditions forced us off the jobsite yesterday and the decision was made to return home to allow the fields to dry out.
I drove home and arrived in the usual disarray that my life has become. I share my home with my spouse and 2 adult offspring. All of their problems remained unsolved, the grass remained uncut, the cars needed attention and there was no progress on any renovation projects. They know how I feel about participation in the household routine and they know my displeasure in that nearly every activity requires my direct involvement. They choose instead to hone their video game skills, read a book, or sleep in late. No one is out earning a salary except me and that is not by my choice or direction. Within an hour of arriving home, I felt the hopelessness creep in.
I could continue to rant, but I learned long ago that it really won't change anything. I would like to get the help this family needs, but how? Any attempt to discuss falls on deaf ears and I will be accused of being dictatorial, but I cannot continue with this. This morning the phone call arrived that we will be back in the field early next week. I am forcing myself through the next few days with the anticipation that I can escape this circus soon. I made an appointment with the MD to discuss the allergy situation, but I will postpone it just so I can get back out. Of course, that just postpones the inevitable and winter will come soon enough. Allergies will subside and the chores and projects will disappear under the snow only to reemerge next spring. Again, I can expect no help.
I don't believe I am overbooking. We are talking about basic household maintenance here, like cutting the grass. Outside of the revelations of the last 24 hours, I have hoped not to put my family life on my list of triggers for my depression. Has my family become toxic? How do I deal with that?
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