Hi everyone. I have just come to the realisation that my partner is probably suffering from depression and that for much of our three-year relationship, it has been what I have discovered to be called "male-type" or "covert" depression. I have seen some articles that acknowledge that men often present differently by externalizing their pain.
Right now, for example, my partner is not speaking to me. When I asked him yesterday if there was a particular reason he was withdrawn or whether it was a general feeling, he said he was "tired" and "upset by everyday things". When I asked him what types of things, he launched into an attack listing a disagreement we had on Sunday night (when I objected to him making an unkind remark about my brother who he doesn't even know), the fact that I insist on keeping the cat litter (in a special cupboard) in the kitchen so he can smell it, and the fact that I again downloaded several large files at the same time even though he had told me not to. So I have hostile withdrawal and blame to deal with.
Everything I have read says I should try to be encouraging, but it is hard to be encouraging when he won't talk to me, and when he attacks me if I try to talk to him. He has an appointment with his doctor in a week, and I am worried that he won't raise the subject properly with the doctor, who is young and has seen him once every three-six months over the last three years without being able to figure out he has depression.
Right now, for example, my partner is not speaking to me. When I asked him yesterday if there was a particular reason he was withdrawn or whether it was a general feeling, he said he was "tired" and "upset by everyday things". When I asked him what types of things, he launched into an attack listing a disagreement we had on Sunday night (when I objected to him making an unkind remark about my brother who he doesn't even know), the fact that I insist on keeping the cat litter (in a special cupboard) in the kitchen so he can smell it, and the fact that I again downloaded several large files at the same time even though he had told me not to. So I have hostile withdrawal and blame to deal with.
Everything I have read says I should try to be encouraging, but it is hard to be encouraging when he won't talk to me, and when he attacks me if I try to talk to him. He has an appointment with his doctor in a week, and I am worried that he won't raise the subject properly with the doctor, who is young and has seen him once every three-six months over the last three years without being able to figure out he has depression.
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