Hello everyone,
I am writing here to seek some advice from those couples whose spouse have been suffering from bipolar disorder or behavioral issues.It's long post, I apologize.
I have been recently married (one month ago). It was a complete arrange marriage. We havn’t met each other before .Then after 20 days of marriage my husband went back for his job in another country and I came for studies. My plan was to apply for my husband to join me as soon as possible. Now, I want to discuss few things in this scenario regarding my husband’s behavior which is becoming unpredictable:
1. During the time we were together, he use to appreciate me but then at the same time or bit later finds something to criticize me(and most of the time for no reasons).
2. More often, he talked badly about my family, which at first I listened but then politely I tried to mention him that it should be avoided so that it donot create conflicts between us. Once or twice it goes fine. Then again for no reasons, he just starts again. In the mean time, he keeps claiming that he loves me more than anything etc and so on. I am unable to understand which kind of love is this where there is no respect?
3. I find him that he is not into taking my responsibility. He had financial issues, and I did compromise over it as I believe it can be settle down with time. However, in other aspects also, it’s not like that.
4. He always want me to be there for everything, for himself, but when it comes to me, my wishes, happiness, then that’s kind of secondary or least important to him.
5. He tries to create conflicts between me and my in-laws. Most of the things, I didn’t said/do and he would say to them mentioning that I said that.
6. Above all, since we are away now and I am here for studies, he starts arguing with me more than anything. Soon after marriage. He is crossing limits and now always finding ways to initiate arguments Overall what I have assessed is :
1.He has inferiority complex as he sees me much better than himself in all aspects.
2. He is self centered, he is mostly concerned with what he wants/likes.
3. He tries me to behave , think, act like as he wants
4. He praises n then criticizes me to make myself feel down
5.I find that his personality is not stable/balanced. When he is in the mood, he is like the King of everything and when not, then whatever comes, he cann’t handle or cope up with situation.
6. He is kind of extremist in all his behaviors, there is no middle level
I can fully understand that it was a v short time which we spent together and its hard to be in that situation (being away from each other). But, it should be handled with mutual understanding, respect and future vision not just with false accusations, frustrations and criticism etc. There is much more , but it has already been a long post.
I myself was trying to give him space so that this new relationship can grow. But also, I want to make him realize what is acceptable and what is not. I always try to be in polite way, but there is a limit and then argument (I expect this is what he wants).
He went through depression, anxiety. During that time he tries to gain my sympathies in every way. Then sooner or later, his behavior changes and then he again starts arguing etc. I donot understand why is he behaving like that? What can be the possible solution. Is it like that he might have psychological disorder? I am on a point to think whether to continue with this marriage or not?
Any help/suggestions will be helpful.
Thanks.
I am writing here to seek some advice from those couples whose spouse have been suffering from bipolar disorder or behavioral issues.It's long post, I apologize.
I have been recently married (one month ago). It was a complete arrange marriage. We havn’t met each other before .Then after 20 days of marriage my husband went back for his job in another country and I came for studies. My plan was to apply for my husband to join me as soon as possible. Now, I want to discuss few things in this scenario regarding my husband’s behavior which is becoming unpredictable:
1. During the time we were together, he use to appreciate me but then at the same time or bit later finds something to criticize me(and most of the time for no reasons).
2. More often, he talked badly about my family, which at first I listened but then politely I tried to mention him that it should be avoided so that it donot create conflicts between us. Once or twice it goes fine. Then again for no reasons, he just starts again. In the mean time, he keeps claiming that he loves me more than anything etc and so on. I am unable to understand which kind of love is this where there is no respect?
3. I find him that he is not into taking my responsibility. He had financial issues, and I did compromise over it as I believe it can be settle down with time. However, in other aspects also, it’s not like that.
4. He always want me to be there for everything, for himself, but when it comes to me, my wishes, happiness, then that’s kind of secondary or least important to him.
5. He tries to create conflicts between me and my in-laws. Most of the things, I didn’t said/do and he would say to them mentioning that I said that.
6. Above all, since we are away now and I am here for studies, he starts arguing with me more than anything. Soon after marriage. He is crossing limits and now always finding ways to initiate arguments Overall what I have assessed is :
1.He has inferiority complex as he sees me much better than himself in all aspects.
2. He is self centered, he is mostly concerned with what he wants/likes.
3. He tries me to behave , think, act like as he wants
4. He praises n then criticizes me to make myself feel down
5.I find that his personality is not stable/balanced. When he is in the mood, he is like the King of everything and when not, then whatever comes, he cann’t handle or cope up with situation.
6. He is kind of extremist in all his behaviors, there is no middle level
I can fully understand that it was a v short time which we spent together and its hard to be in that situation (being away from each other). But, it should be handled with mutual understanding, respect and future vision not just with false accusations, frustrations and criticism etc. There is much more , but it has already been a long post.
I myself was trying to give him space so that this new relationship can grow. But also, I want to make him realize what is acceptable and what is not. I always try to be in polite way, but there is a limit and then argument (I expect this is what he wants).
He went through depression, anxiety. During that time he tries to gain my sympathies in every way. Then sooner or later, his behavior changes and then he again starts arguing etc. I donot understand why is he behaving like that? What can be the possible solution. Is it like that he might have psychological disorder? I am on a point to think whether to continue with this marriage or not?
Any help/suggestions will be helpful.
Thanks.
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