Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

there is no more hope

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    there is no more hope

    It is so hard to accept the loss of a “normal” life for my son. He will likely never hold down a job, have a girlfriend, a family. I am worried what the future will hold for him after I am no longer here. There is no one that will be there for him. It’s funny but after he was born I thought of him without me as an old man and I pictured him alone, lonely and poor. I was sad that I could not be there for him. It looks like that vision will be his future.
    I took him out with me two days in a row. I bought him a nice hoodie and he bought himself another one. I took him out to eat and we had samples at Costco and he looked at IPads there. I feel like I say things to him sometimes that I shouldn’t . I get angry that he doesn’t help himself. I can see he is very dependent on me or really anyone that helps him. I often think am I to blame for this? How can I help him become more independent? He practically has no money except for the GST he gets every 4 months. He lives a very sad existence and that makes me feel heartbroken. I feel there is no hope left.

    #2
    I am saddened to hear of your suffering. As a mother of a twenty one year old it can be very hard to let him go and make his own mistakes. I don't know what to say, except that I hear you. I have used quiet time or prayer to help me get in sight, sometimes it is helpful and sometimes not so much. I don't mean religious prayer but sort of a quiet seeking for a whisper of wisdom that can come surprisingly from within. I think you are going in the right direction in seeking independence for him. As hard as it can be sometimes, at some point we need to start doing less for our children and keep hoping they'll pick up the slack. And if they don't, then it can be really tempting to do this or that for them; that's the hard part, not giving in to those temptations. Listen, I am no expert in parenting, and firmly believe that no child is like another, which makes them beautiful, but which makes a parenting manual almost impossible to create. Love on him and certainly kick that guilt/blame to the curb! We didn't do anything wrong, we are just trying to do better and that doesn't make what we've done wrong by any means. Also, take anything I've said that fits and discard the rest. If you do hugs they are free for the taking!

    Comment

    Working...
    X