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Another lonely Christmas season

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    Another lonely Christmas season

    The die is cast .. or maybe not..
    It doesn't matter at all now ..
    I'm sure this is going to be another lonely Christmas holiday season ..
    ..
    Before saying anything else .. I would like to confirm that I just needed to write these words & publish them to share them with you .. I just need to think loudly .. I just want to relieve myself from pressure .. I don't want to raise a false alarm .. I felt suicidal few days ago .. but now I don't .. I'm getting better .. much better ..
    ..
    Going back to my story .. Being dumped hurts .. but when it happens during Christmas holiday season .. it's not fun at all ..
    ..
    2016 in general wasn't a bad year at all .. for sure it was better than 2015 .. can't deny that .. maybe even better than the the past few years .. But things changed dramatically in December .. at least that's how It seems to me .. Oh god I really hate sudden unpredictable changes ..

    ..
    2008 @ 2011 were milestones in my life .. the first was a total emotional collapse .. the second was the end of an era .. after being a family man for 18 years .. I found myself living alone .. lonely & heartbroken ..
    welcome back to the single people community .. to the less socially welcomed crowd .. suddenly you find yourself alone & ask yourself : where did everybody go ? ..
    ..
    I'm not against separation or divorce in general .. but that wasn't only a divorce .. that was like loosing everything.. a revenge .. It was a total social isolation .. it was like being ripped off & left to die alone ..
    ..
    I knew I'm a strong & tough person .. my life wasn't easy .. I survived several hard times in the past .. and I knew I was going to survive this .. and I did ..
    ..
    Is 2016 going to be another milestone ? .. mmmm .. let me see .. no .. I don't think so .. but I just need to survive the last two weeks of the year ..
    ..
    My girlfriend dumped me ( we met 2 years ago ) .. or maybe I just lost her or even dumped her .. it doesn't make so much difference to me now ..
    she left Ontario to Newfoundland in September to attend university .. we kept in touch almost every day .. I was looking forward to spend the holiday season with her .. the only question was : should we spend it here in Ontario or there in Newfoundland ..
    ..
    Suddenly she decided to cancel it .. and suddenly I felt not important at all .. of course she thinks she has good reasons for this .. but I don't buy it .. maybe I'm naive & dumb .. but I can still reason things comfortably..
    ..
    Am I sad & hurt inside ? .. yes .. but I know I'm now less depressed than last week .. I'm doing good in keeping myself busy ..
    ..
    however .. that doesn't change the fact that I'm bipolar .. jobless .. lonely .. have only 3$ in my coin purse .. 4$ in my bank account .. 5$ In my presto card ( transportation) .. some food in my fridge .. I'm renting a small place to live in .. that means I have shelter .. rent is paid for December .. I have enough prescription medication for the rest of the month .. I have a smartphone & a tablet .. home internet .. Xbox ..
    ..
    I need to go to a food bank soon .. maybe this week .. as soon as I can get some free bus tickets .. I think I can find help .. yes it's gonna be a lonely & quiet holiday season .. but I can survive it ..
    ..
    After surviving the next two weeks .. I have to start looking for a cheaper place .. my girlfriend was my roommate & she helped me pay the rent .. but that's it .. she's not coming back.. & I can't afford paying the rent alone.. looking for another roommate to share the place with me is not a good idea at all .. it's a tiny studio .. Good for a couple .. not for two strangers sleeping in the same bed ..
    ..
    I really hate to leave this place now .. but I don't think I have other good options .. I'm still confused & can't be sure of anything .. but I needed to write these words .. I feel much better now ..
    ..
    If you have any remark or suggestion .. feel free to write it in a response.. or a private message ..
    Thank you everybody..
    Last edited by Jafar the wizard; December 20, 2016, 12:15 AM.

    #2
    Hello Jafar. Tough times during an especially tough month. You got the right attitude when you say "yes it's gonna be a lonely & quiet holiday season .. but I can survive it .." You can survive it, although I'm sure that it will be tough. Acknowledging and grieving your loss can help.

    I don't have a lot of good advice to give as Christmas hasn't ever been real hard time for me and I've never had a breakup at that time, so I don't like to give advice where I have no experience. I know that distress lines, peer support groups and even some churches can be helpful during our times of great stress.

    I'm glad that you took the time to write out your thoughts as venting can be good for us. I'm sorry that I don't have more, but Good Luck and try to Take Care. paul m
    "Alone we can do so little;
    Together we can do so much"
    Helen Keller

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you paul m
      ..
      Ive just reread my words .. a flood of racing thoughts bouncing inside my skull .. I had to write them .. Because now I can realize now how these thoughts can delude me if I don't write them & rearrange them .. I published this to see if other people can read & comprehend ..

      Comment


        #4
        Jafar what struck me the most after reading your post is your determination to 'survive it' in spite of the losses in your life. Grieving losses in life is never easy, never mind having to sort out living arrangements and other necessities of life.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

        Comment


          #5
          Thank you AJ
          my story is more complicated & I can't refer to all the details now .. who knows .. maybe I'm unaware of how miserable my life is .. maybe it's only self deception .. maybe I'm just lost ..
          ..
          a lot of good questions but i don't have good answers for them..
          ..
          having no answers can be a blessing .. it keeps me alive .. it gives me a reason to stay alive .. I want to know why my life is so miserable ..

          Comment


            #6
            Hello Jafar,

            Being alone is tough at any time. The season seems to magnify the effect. I have a couple friends going into this Christmas season alone for the first time. Certainly not a situation to be desired.

            It is remarkable how writing all this down can be so therapeutic. I am happy you have found this place and I am happy it exists as a place where we can vent and share our thoughts and experience. It helps keep us all just a little more sane.

            Hope your fortunes are looking up in the coming year.

            Comment


              #7
              Fighting back
              thank you for writing this ..
              I appreciate it ..
              its much harder than I thought .. I still have five days to survive ..
              the hard part is when friends call me and ask ( how are you doing ? ) .. I have to lie & say I'm fine .. I can't mention anything about the situation I am in now .. people want you to tell them what they want to hear from you .. even if it's not true .. of course they're not gonna admit it but I know they do ..

              Comment

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