A collection of paradoxes

[Jafar the wizard]

I always felt that there's something wrong about me ..
..
I always felt that it's hard for me to describe who I am ..
..
I was always stunned by my ability to make people laugh ... I was always told that I have a very good sense of humor ..
..
But on the other hand .. it was so easy for me to make people cry .. to hurt them badly .. to say stupid things because of being angry & frustrated ..
..
Sometimes I had the feeling that there's nothing beyond my capabilities .. but sometimes I felt that I'm useless & good for nothing ..
..
I can be a man of special talents that make people applaud .. but I was also capable of making myself look like an idiot ..
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I was always so good in making people like me .. fall in love with me .. but I can make them hate me , fear me & finally run away from me ..
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I couldn't tell what kind of a person I am .. I was a very complicated collection of contradictions & paradoxes ..
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I can be extremely happy one day .. then extremely sad another ..
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Too serious sometimes .. & sometimes I was too silly to be serious .. I just couldn't be serious about anything .. not at all ..
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Sometimes .. My energy was too excessive to control .. but sometimes it was reduced to minimum limits .. couldn't even help me walk ..
..
Whatever it is .. whatever you call it .. it made me lose a lot of precious things in my life .. things that are too precious to forget about .. and too precious to talk about ..

[paul m]

Hello Jafar. A good collection of paradoxes. Pretty much sums up my life when my bipolar wasn't under control. Take Care. paul m

[Jafar the wizard]

Thanks Paul
have a nice day

[Stenacron Man]

"Sometimes I had the feeling that there's nothing beyond my capabilities .. but sometimes I felt that I'm useless & good for nothing ."

That line is the true roots of bipolar. Sadly nothing is beyond our reach. It's what we do with it that is the problem, and often it is nothing.


Buddy Mack.

[Jafar the wizard]

Yes buddy Mack
you're right .. it is bipolar .. & I wish I knew about it long time ago ..

[Neli]

An excellent description of living with untreated bipolar. I think I'll share it with my family to help them understand better what it's like.

Neli

[Jafar the wizard]

Thank you Neli .. I'm glad you like it & im glad that we found more answers for our old questions ..
it took me too long to find these answers , though