Hello All. I have been reading a book called Grieving Mental Illness by Virginia Lafond,ISBN 0-8020-7578-9 University of Toronto Press 1994. It raises some interesting points about the need to grieve in order to get well again, whether it be a major illness or the death of somebody close.
She claims there are 4 stages to grieving and if we must master each stage or we will have more difficulty getting better. Her 4 stages are.
1)Denial: We often deny our illness or at least how serious it really is.
2)Sadness: we often deny that we are sadden by our illness, often saying things like "I'm happy it wasn't worse" .We should accept that it's a terrible illness and it's ok to feel sad that we got it.
3)Anger and fears: Often we don't deal with the angry feelings we have with these illnesses. Anger over delay of treatment, misdiagnosis, anger over what if's (what if I had been treated earlier etc.) Later we fear the unknown future that lies ahead of us.This fear can paralysis us.
4)Acceptance: Accepting our Illness and learnng how best to deal with it in a logical manner.
The author points out that that the steps pretty much happen in the above order and the longer we refuse to accept each step the longer it will take to get better. She gives some hints about getting better.
I cannot say it's a great book, but I can tell you she is correct in some areas. I wasted a lot of time in denial and I also wasted a lot of time paralyized by fear of the future. Getting better is not easy. But getting to the point of acceptance of the illness and the limitations it may put on us sure helps. Once there we are still in for a battle, but at least we can head in the right direction. (cowering under the covers only worked for so long for me
) Take Care. paul m
She claims there are 4 stages to grieving and if we must master each stage or we will have more difficulty getting better. Her 4 stages are.
1)Denial: We often deny our illness or at least how serious it really is.
2)Sadness: we often deny that we are sadden by our illness, often saying things like "I'm happy it wasn't worse" .We should accept that it's a terrible illness and it's ok to feel sad that we got it.
3)Anger and fears: Often we don't deal with the angry feelings we have with these illnesses. Anger over delay of treatment, misdiagnosis, anger over what if's (what if I had been treated earlier etc.) Later we fear the unknown future that lies ahead of us.This fear can paralysis us.
4)Acceptance: Accepting our Illness and learnng how best to deal with it in a logical manner.
The author points out that that the steps pretty much happen in the above order and the longer we refuse to accept each step the longer it will take to get better. She gives some hints about getting better.
I cannot say it's a great book, but I can tell you she is correct in some areas. I wasted a lot of time in denial and I also wasted a lot of time paralyized by fear of the future. Getting better is not easy. But getting to the point of acceptance of the illness and the limitations it may put on us sure helps. Once there we are still in for a battle, but at least we can head in the right direction. (cowering under the covers only worked for so long for me
) Take Care. paul m
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