General Topics Returned to the snowy north!

[uni]

Hi! I'm back, and glad to be here!

Yep, I got home a few days ago. That night the temperature promptly dropped and we got a lovely big dump of snow. Ahh, I love this country

For over three months my boyfriend and I enjoyed a wonderful and relaxing experience in the south. But I was ready to come home to the wonderful and familiar experience of (so-called) springtime in Saskatchewan. I was especially looking forward to seeing my friends (and dare I say family) again.

Returning home has found me with lots of practical and personal matters staring me in the face. Looks like it's transition time for a while. It's easy to feel overwhelmed with unpacking, putting away, making phone calls, replenishing groceries, paying bills, staring at (but so far only staring at) income tax forms.... etc.

So I'm pacing myself. Expecting miracles of organization and productivity just sets me up for stress and disappointment. I learn this over and over. I've been doing a reasonable amount of work each day, then going for a visit or coffee with someone, or to a group meeting, and in the evening maybe watch Coronation Street (Peter Barlow's up to his tricks - any fans here?) Today I'm adding some time on the computer and am VERY glad to get back onto the forum. Granted, I've only been home and achieving some balance for a few days, but so far so good!

I look forward to catching up on some of the threads here, as time permits. It looks like there's been quite a lot of activity...

[Determined]

woo hoo! welcome back uni! Let yourself ease into things. Coming back to the cold is enough to deal with.

[AJ]

Canadianwinter.jpg Click on picture to enlarge.

Welcome back to the great white Canadian winter that just won't go away.

[Determined]

yikes. we got some here too but not like that (yet). That's what I get for raking my front lawn.

[Fighting back]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkDvqQKGgDA

You arrived back just in time! Hope it was not too much of a shock. Link has our weather forecast. Looks like SAD for everyone!

[imsosad]

(((Uni))) glad you're back and had a good time. Like the others said, ease yourself back into the routine.

[Lizzy]

Welcome Home Uni! We saved some snow for u in my yard!

[paul m]

Welcome back Uni. In regards to income tax forms, one of the best things I ever did was start to pay 15 bucks for on line filing. It took a bit for me to catch on how to do it, but it's a snap once you do. Then you just print out a copy of what you did. Take Care. paul m P.S. with most of them you can try them for free and only pay when you actually file your income tax with the Gov't.

P.P.S. There is down loadable software, but the on line stuff is so easy that I find it not worth the bother of downloading.

[uni]

Thanks Paul. It does sound like online filing would be less complicated. However, I'm reluctant to do certain things over the internet including taxes and banking. Anyway, I'm glad it works so well for you!

I continue to try and pace myself, and although I don't succeed every day I'm not doing too badly. I had no fewer than four social commitments lined up for next weekend, then realized that might be more than is wise to attempt. One commitment was heading for unforeseen house guests, which would have spread me just a l-i-t-t-l-e too thin. I am disappointing a couple of people by cancelling, but one of them at least is understanding, and the other can be rescheduled. I do have some guilt creeping in though, and a bit of disappointment myself, as well as some resentment toward people who try and manipulate their way into using my place as a handy bed-and-breakfast. I also feel angry that I set myself up, and angry that I don't "handle" decision-making and life in general as well as the so-called "normaL" people around me. So here I am comparing and falling short and then beating myself up over it. Good grief! The guilt, disappointment, anger and resentment do not feel good!

Ok, time to stop and think. I would be wise to re-frame the situation in my mind... this could take a little while...

[AJ]

Doing taxes without using a program, you're talented, at the very least handy with a calculator!

Our place get's used as a bed and breakfast too. It never fails that we get people staying over one after another. Keeps us busy with planning meals and washing bed sheets! One of them does a lot of 'fixit jobs' around the house when he comes, so we're happy to have him stay over when he needs to. The others that come usually have their own agenda so at least we don't have to entertain them. Still, it's not the same when you have guests. Your place is not your own.

I have one good friend who suffers from depression. She gets it when I have to reschedule. I'm honest with her about why I need to reschedule. Others, not so much. Four social events for one weekend is a lot. At least I couldn't do it. Sometimes it's hard to get out of some of them. Good for you for doing so. Still, I understand the guilt and disappointment.

Decision making is not my strong suit either. Once I decide I go for it but the process is often a painful one. I always feel so stupid when someone is waiting for me to decide something and I'm there not saying anything because I can't decide what the best choice is. If I'm walking across a crosswalk and someone looks like they're going to drive right into me, it doesn't take much to decide to get out of the way! If I have to decide what to order on the menu, it's a monumental task. That doesn't count the important life decisions one has to make.

It's hard not to compare but I think it's a natural thing we do, unless we decide not to. I get frustrated that things that are so difficult for me, seem to come so easily for others. I understand you feeling of falling short. it's good that you're working on 're-framing' the situation. Sometimes it helps me to think about what I can do, rather than what I can't do.

[Determined]

I do all my banking on the internet. I'm hoping that if someone hacks my account they will see how broke I am and maybe deposit some money.

[paul m]

Hello Uni. My taxes are the only thing that I do over the internet in regards to commerce.

In regards to: too many commitments. I agree that it is often too easy to feel bad about things that weren't our fault in the first place.

On Easter weekend, I took on too many things and ended up spending part of Easter Sunday in bed. I wasn't trying to take on too many things, they just suddenly seemed to pile up and it left me out of sorts.(I was trying to please too many people). Fortunately my stay in bed for the morning and miss an activity worked and I was able to take part in what was planned for the afternoon. While I wasn't as upset with myself as I once would have been, I was still upset that I had to disappoint someone.

In regards to people planning to use your place for a B&B, that can be annoying, so I'm giving you advance notice that in 4yrs or so my wife, when she retires, and I are planning a western trip to visit relatives. We expect you to come out with us for a coffee. I hope that is enough notice Take Care. paul m

P.S. you too AJ

P.P.S To Determined. I keep hoping someone will steal my ID. I figure having to try to live my life is worse punishment than sending a thief to jail LOL.

[AJ]

My treat Paul.

[Determined]

LOL! The world is a better place for having you in it Paul. Nobody could handle you the way you do!