Help me understand

[Gossip]

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and admit that I'm confused by something. I don't understand people's obsession with getting off medication. Now I'm the first to admit that I have a different perspective than someone who's newly diagnosed... I've been on meds for over 20 years. And yes, at the beginning there was a period of about 10 years where nothing seemed to work. Either I had impossible side effects, or strange reactions, or the meds just plain didn't do what they were supposed to do. I couldn't work or go to school during that time, and I was barely able to parent my son. But even then I understood the tradeoff for me... without medication I'm a danger to myself! When I'm manic I have no judgement and a complete disregard for my own safety. I believe I'm somehow protected and that nothing can hurt me, and that's almost killed me more than once. And when I'm depressed I've attempted suicide several times. Even when I'm in remission I know I'm not cured, and that it can sneak up on me and make me full-blown symptomatic before I realise it's happening. If it's doing what it's supposed to do, the medication keeps that in check.

I guess the drilldown of what I just don't get is that if the point of medication is to keep us alive, why would someone ever want to stop that?

[AJ]

Once I got to the stage of finding the right combination of medication along with learning some valuable self care skills, life got a whole lot better. That journey was a long haul, and as they say, it ain't over till it's all over.

I hated the trial and error, the start and stop, and the mucking around with drug and dose combinations. I know I may have to do that again because life isn't a constant. I also know that without medication, if I were still alive, my life would be a mess.

The fact that I need drugs to be okay used to be bothersome, even though it wouldn't be if I needed insulin. I'm so over that. So I'll sit quietly at the dinner table, and eat any veggie you serve me, knowing they're good for me.

[Rosey]

I think stigma plays a role in that some people think if I don't need to take medication then I'm no longer ill. Also from my family member experiences they have little to no insight and really don't see the need for medication.

[Gossip]

But the operative word in the sentence is "need." If you don't *need* the medication, it's true that you're probably not sick. But that's not the same thing as *needing* it but refusing to *take*it!

ETA I'm not trying to be deliberately obtuse, I honestly don't understand.

[MissMoods]

I think it is related to the numbing feeling medications can bring. There are times I genuinely wonder who I am under all the chemicals. If I started taking them at 17 and am 36 now, I dunno I just wonder sometimes. I will never go there, but I would love to experience a morning without intense thirst and grogginess.

[uni]

That's an interesting question Gossip. I think there are a variety of reasons. Stigma being one. Refusal to believe that you have "mental illness" is another. Wanting to be in control. Sometimes it's as simple as trouble with side effects, particularly weight gain. Trouble accepting the reality that maybe you are sick. I know people who have trouble accepting they need any kind of medication -- insulin, blood pressure meds, cholesterol pills, etc. Denial is a powerful thing. Other people accept the facts more easily. For myself, I struggle with the fact that I really don't know what taking meds for many years has done / is doing to my body.

[paul m]

I don't think that I have ever met anyone who was entirely happy to take medications. As Uni sez many people who have other problems other than mental ones and they often do not want to take meds. My wife is taking meds for high blood and a few yrs back she thought that she would try weaning herself off of them, She was lucky that she didn't have a stroke as her blood pressure soared to over 200.

She had no reason to quite taking them, there were no serious side effects, she just didn't want to take drugs. For myself (bipolar 1) I used to quite my meds from time to time and I always paid the price. I'm not talking about meds that weren't working (I've started and stopped dozens of medications), The meds were working fine, I just hated them. I now take my meds on a regular basis and if I do want to change them I do it with my doctors supervision. Take Care. paul m

[Gossip]

Huh... maybe I'm just weird and didn't realise it then. I'm... medically complex. I'm being actively treated by 6 different specialists, with a 7th coming in and out as needed, in addition to my poor GP who's trying to manage me and keep track of all this. And I'm on 12 prescriptions. Honestly, if it's going to improve my quality of life, and all of my meds definitely do, then I'm all good with it!

[uni]

Gossip, I don't think you're weird at all, just sensible