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    Saying Hello

    I just wanted to pop in and say hello as I am new to the forums here.
    I've got a double diagnoses of Bipolar and BDP and was hoping to find some forums where I could relate to other people with similar diagnoses... particularly since last November when I last attempted suicide, I've been feeling like I need to reach out more and chat with others.
    Anywho, like I said, I'm just popping in to say hi!

    #2
    Hi back MarieD! Welcome to the forum.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

    Comment


      #3
      Hello Marie and welcome to the forum. Many on here have a wide variety of illnesses. I have bipolar and anxieties, although they are somewhat under control.

      My diagnosis have changed over time, depending on how sharp my doctor was and/or what symptoms were presented at the time. I started out with depression, then depression and anxiety, then bipolar 2, then bipolar 1 and bpd and so on until they (and I) finally arrived at the correct conclusion(I think LOL).

      Which is Bipolar 1, with tendency towards mixed stats and rapid cycling and anxieties and some PTSD. It was interesting that I no longer had BPD, not that I was magically healed, just a lot of my BPD like symptoms were caused by my having bipolar and my current shrink figures that it was a misdiagonsis because many of the symptoms of BP and BPD can be very similar especially when a lot of mixed states periods are mixed in.

      I'm certainly not saying that you don't have BPD, I never try and make that determination or any other judgment. My only point is, if you were diagnosed a while ago and you haven't felt a lot better, don't hesitate to question your treatment and/or diagnosis. I wasted far too many yrs blindly believing doctors and not getting really well, including a couple of suicide attempts.

      Please feel free to ask questions, answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out some of life's frustations. Take Care. paul m
      "Alone we can do so little;
      Together we can do so much"
      Helen Keller

      Comment


        #4
        Thanks for the welcome!
        To be honest, the BPD diagnosis is the newer of the two and I have been very skeptical with accepting it as the shrink I was seeing wasn't that great. My current doc is keeping it in there and I'm starting up with DBT soon anyways... mostly because I figure it can't hurt me.
        With the BP it's been a long journey so far with many trials of meds and lots of CBT.... I've got to admit that I'm finally starting to feel a little better - I've been on a new med (Latuda - fairly new to the Canadian market) since November and it seems to be working similarly to how Seroquel worked only better and with way less side effects. The only major problem that I'm having at the moment is that now that things are clearing a little, I feel weird. I don't know if anyone can understand this, but it's like I've woken up from a fog and now I don't really know what to do with myself or who I am which is triggering in it's own way. (Sometimes I think I just can't win - even when I'm "well" I can be easily triggered into cycling back down).
        Anyways, thanks again for the welcome!

        Comment


          #5
          Hello and welcome, MarieD!
          uni

          ~ it's always worth it ~

          Comment


            #6
            Hi Marie

            I also take Latuda but I get really drowsy after taking it....so i fall asleep for a bit but then up all night....does it effect you in anyway?

            Comment


              #7
              Hi Surviving,
              It does make me tired - I take it about 10pm with a snack and it knocks me out pretty good. I do find that if I get woken up after that then I can't get back to sleep, which is why I take it so late at night.

              Comment


                #8
                Hello MarieD. I also had that weird feeling and I hated it when I was taking seroquel. Part of the weird feeling did go away in time as my brain healed and I got used to the medication, but for me, it never totally went away. (My son, who also has bipolar, calls it living in seroquel land, a land with a disconnect)

                To combat it some I preferred the regular release to the slow release medication as it gave me more control over the fog and how I felt. I would take 50 mg am, 50mg, lunch time, 100mg supper and 200mg at bedtime.

                I do something similar with the lithium and tegretol that I now take.

                I know(think) that Latuda is designed to take only once per day, but you may want to speak with a pharmacist about the possibility of taking it several times per day in smaller doses. It may not work out for you, but sometimes I have found out that going to my pharmacist and saying " what effect will my meds have on me if I take it this way" has helped me. Seldom has my doctor been as knowledgeable as my pharmacist in this regard. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m
                "Alone we can do so little;
                Together we can do so much"
                Helen Keller

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi Paul,
                  It's such a strange feeling, having that disconnect but it is definitely better than the severe ups and downs and suicidal thoughts I was having before. I am noticing it getting slowly better... feeling a little more "normal" as the weeks go on, not sure if it will ever be completely better though. As for taking it several times a day, when they first put me on it I was on a lower dose throughout the day but it tends to put me to sleep so I was sleeping and tired almost constantly and that's when they switched me to once a day at night.
                  Marie

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Hello MarieD. I figured that you might have tried. I agree that the disconnect is definitely better than the ups and downs. Fortunately, as long as I watch everything very closely, I don't have the major up and downs anymore. For the rare times that I do, I still take seroquel. I hate it, but it works for me.

                    I hope that the side effects clear up for you soon. It took a while for my brain to reconnect as a whole and to start to feel half way normal again. (assuming that anyone else considers me half way normal LOL). TakeCare. paul m

                    P.S. To Everyone. Before anyone jumps up and down about my use of normal etc, I consider everyone normal, just some of us just have a few more challenges in life than the next person. However having a sense of humour can help as well. My wife and I facilitate a peer support group for people with a mental illnesses and/or their friends, loved ones and relatives. Tonight she was the only one there without a mental illness, so she was the abnormal one and we were the normals. On those nights we call her Abby, short for abnormal LOL. Of course she puts up with me, so I sometimes wonder about her mental state LOL. Take Care. paul m
                    "Alone we can do so little;
                    Together we can do so much"
                    Helen Keller

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hi MarieD - Welcome. I'm quite new here too. I've found this group of people so compassionate and understanding.

                      It takes a while to stabilize and have your body get used to your meds and levels. What Paul said about "normals"...the way many people use "normal" is quite meaningless and even harmful IMO. It just reflects a current trend or expectation which says nothing about how healthy, unhealthy, right or wrong something is for me. And the statical normal is even worse, because it's just a mathematically cold description of a demographic and says nothing about an individual. It's all about your normal, and how you're feeling compared to how you want to feel or have felt. That's how I'm looking at it, IMO, it helps me. The way you're describing what you're going through now is familiar. It could be a sign of progress.

                      For example, now that I'm "stabilized" (i.e., not manic) I'm feeling kind of depressed to be honest. But on the other hand, maybe I'm just not used to not being manic most of the time. So maybe this is my new normal. I don't care for the groggy, loopy feeling I have in the morning from my meds, but we're adjusting those. It will take time and patience, and compassion for myself. We all need to have compassion for ourselves.

                      Anyway, good luck with your health. Stay in touch!
                      Mark____
                      But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
                      Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight ~Bruce Cockburn~

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