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    New to the forum

    I've been reading posts and thought it was time to say hello.

    I'm wondering how long it took people to obtain a diagnose of bipolar and are some cases less severe than others? I will post my story soon. I've found this website to be an excellent resource.

    Erin

    #2
    Hi Erin,
    Welcome, I'm fairly new here as well.
    It took me my family doctor, two psychiatrists and an overdose to diagnose my bipolar disorder, so it was a while and that was several years ago... they are still tweaking the different aspects of my diagnosis even now. And yes, there is a variation in the severity of the disorder.
    ~Marie

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      #3
      To give a bit of history…

      I am a 37 year old married mother of 2 children. Over the years, I have had several ups and downs and gone to counselling quite a few times. After I had my second son, I felt totally lost, out of control and not in touch with reality. At the time, my Doctor felt I was suffering from past partum depression and I was given some meds to help. They did in fact help and I eventually stopped taking them.

      On and off for the past 8 years, I have struggled a lot with issues within my marriage and financial stuff. To give a bit of background on my marital issues…
      My husband works with a female a few years older. She lives in a town about ½ from where we live. At the time that I met her, she was married and had 2 small children. To make a long story short, my husband talked a lot about her and the marital issues she was having. She eventually separated with her husband and asked mine to go with her to look at a house she was thinking of purchasing. I had a feeling there was way more to the story but he reassured me that it was nothing more than a co-worker relationship. In the end, he didn’t go with her (at least not to my knowledge). They continued a secret relationship (texting, phone calls using his cell) and he had his cell phone bill changed so that it came to him by email and not by mail. I was convinced that there was something going on but he denied it to the point I thought I was going crazy. Then a few months later, her ex-husband sent me her cell phone records (out of the blue) and confirmed my suspicions. My husband continued to deny anything was going on and I even found a receipt for a necklace on Valentine’s Day that I was never given. When I confronted him, he said he took it back because we weren’t getting along.

      We managed to work our way through the issues both financially and relationship wise and things were really good. I should also note that this emotional affair went on for about 5 years.

      I was feeling good and then about 2 years ago, I started to suspect there was stuff going on between the 2 of them again. After doing some digging, I found out that they were still in contact with each other and was pretty sure it became more than just an emotional affair. We went to marriage counselling and I also went to individual counselling as well. I have seen 5 different counsellors over the past 6 years but tend to stop going when I can’t handle what I am being told.

      I seem to fluctuate in moods and a lot of times feel like I am totally out of touch with reality. I find that I am drinking more (although not excessive) and have even done some online gambling. I have racked up a lot of debt again and have yet to tell my husband. I feel like I am consumed with making sure we have money and buy stuff on impulse. I can’t even begin to say where the money went but I’ve spent it. I go from hiding what I have done and feel like I become depressed and alienate everyone. I work in a fairly high stress job and I find myself wondering who the hell I have become. I have an appointment with a Therapist but feel like I am losing control of my life. I have not had any suicidal thoughts.

      I am afraid to talk to my spouse about what has been going on for fear that he will leave. I am equally worried about my children as I don’t want him to use any “Mental Health” issues I have against me. I know I may be severe in thinking but I am very worried about this. I also don’t have benefits right now with work so I can’t take a short term leave.

      I am feeling so overwhelmed by everything and I am not sure where to go from here. I just know that how I am feeling and thinking is not normal.

      I’ve been reading information on Bipolar and feel that several things mentioned applies to me but not all of them. So totally confused….

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        #4
        Welcome to the forum Erin. I had my first diagnosis in 1982. It took 5 yrs. to get the correct diagnosis, and several more to get the right combination of drugs. It was a long battle but I did finally get there. Even now there are times when my meds need to be tweaked.

        It's hard to advocate for yourself when you feel awful.

        Are you seeing a psychiatrist?

        Hang in there.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

        Comment


          #5
          Hi Erin. I've recently introduced myself as well. Yes, I agree, this website and forum is a great resource. Nice people.

          My diagnosis took quite a long time. Besides me stalling to get to a doc at the beginning, I was misdiagnosed and treated for depression for 10-ish years. Then finally I was diagnosed and treated for rapid-cycling cyclothymic for another 5-6 years. Then in the last year, diagnosed mixed BP II, or something. Anyway, I'm still working on stabilizing and finding the right meds and levels, but I'm feeling much better than a few months ago. When I finally admitted I couldn't handle it on my own, and got a strong circle of support around me, things progressed. That was key.

          You sound like you've been through and are going through a lot. Hang in there. I'm going through a lot with my wife and kids right now too. Hanging on by a thread, it feels like sometimes. But you have to believe in yourself and believe that you're worth it because you are.

          Good luck.
          Mark____
          But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
          Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight ~Bruce Cockburn~

          Comment


            #6
            Hello Hockeymom. I just want to say welcome to the forum!
            uni

            ~ it's always worth it ~

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