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Performance Anxiety in professional and academic life

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    Performance Anxiety in professional and academic life

    Hi,

    first off, I want to mention that I am currently seeing a therapist to work on my issues.

    I have developed over the years and immense fear of failure at the professional level. Succeeding academically and professionally has became tremendously important to me. It is what has given me a sense of control over my life.

    I come from a low-income family background and I'm afraid of ending up like my parents. I've been mocked out in school as well due to this particular situation in my city.

    However, I do not feel like I am succeeding to my own standards. I compare myself to other people in my community who are accomplishing everything I want to accomplish in life and it feels like what I do is never good or impressive enough to get scholarships, awards and opportunities that i am aiming at. And it makes me extremely anxious and depressed. I'm afraid that my turn will never come when it comes to succeeding in life. I am also a visible minority and there is a lack of role models in my community. I don't feel represented with the models of success that I'm currently seeing which makes me double more anxious to not be able to succeed due to the color of my skin, and despite my enormous efforts. Everybody acknowledges that I am working extremely hard but to my eyes, and to the standards that I set for myself, it never seems to be good enough.
    Last edited by PJane92; March 29, 2015, 07:35 PM.

    #2
    Oh my!

    I can sympathize with your situation and I can see that you are a person driven to succeed. Perhaps you have set the bar too high? I do not know what measures you are using to compare your accomplishments against others, but can you take stock of your own accomplishments and reward yourself for what you have already accomplished? Something tells me that may already be substantial.

    Two items struck me from your post. You mention your family and your race. These are things that you cannot change and there is no reason to change. There is too much stratification in society and we become our own worst enemies when we acknowledge such factors as obstacles. I belong to an ethnic minority, but I blend in well, i.e. not a visible minority. Even at that level, I can assure you there is potential for stratification. It's a tricky balance in that you need to acknowledge it, yet you must not overcompensate. It's a minefield out there and you have to pick your battles carefully.

    I think you may be caught in one of my favorite battles. Much of our world is caught up in the struggle for incremental improvement. It's a sound concept, but it requires increasing effort for diminishing returns and can become quite stressful. These programs have names like Total Quality Management and Six Sigma. They were quite the management fad at the start of the 90's. They can be easily misused and they will topple even a giant corporation. I know, I watched it happen. I'm sure they were the inspiration for Scott Adam's popular Dilbert character. I am of the opinion that applying these principles to your personal life can even topple yourself.

    I hope you can find a comfortable place in your career, wishing you the best of luck PJane92.
    Last edited by Fighting back; March 30, 2015, 09:16 AM.

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      #3
      Hello PJane92. I can understand the anxiety and concerns that you are having. They are quite reasonable. I hope that you are able to become as successful as you would like. I can't say how you can accomplish that, but I can tell you part of my story and it may or may not help. Fighting back also has some pretty good words of wisdom.

      I was born broke, did well and had it all, then due to illness ended up broke again. Part of my problem was because I didn't approach the illness correctly. I tried to ignore proper treatment for a long time and I refused to put some things on hold when I should have. I should have examined different treatment options, lifestyles and a host of other things. My life may have been different if I had taken a different approach to my illness, but then it might not have been.

      Of course it is easy to look back and say I should of done this or that. It was a lot more difficult at the time to make proper decisions.

      Items that I did easily once upon a time, I can no longer do or even consider doing. It took me a long time to come to terms with my disability and the limits that it has imposed on me. However that doesn't mean that I'm a failure. I am a failure by some people's standards, but to some others I am quit successful.

      To start with I'm quite happy in life and as a former bank manager, a profession I loved before bipolar took it away, I saw many people who had it all, but who were vastly unhappy most of their lives. It may sound weird, but I'm more respected now by many as a broke volunteer, then I ever was a highly paid professional.

      I am in no way suggesting that you change your expectations of a happy and successful life, but you may have to take a different approach to either your illness or how you are going to become successful in life or maybe some combination of both. Take Care. paul m

      P.S to Fighting back. I was working in the 90's and I've always loved Dilbert.
      "Alone we can do so little;
      Together we can do so much"
      Helen Keller

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        #4
        I just had an interview with a newspaper today to comment on a domestic violence case here (I'm a counsellor in life) and it took me hours for my anxiety level to go down. I went to sleep - which is pretty much always what I am doing now every time I get anxious to be able to calm down.

        I'm tired of being anxious due to my career.
        Last edited by PJane92; April 3, 2015, 01:14 AM.

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          #5
          I think I definitely need to reconsider what will truly make me happy.

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