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    New here and seeking some support

    Hey everyone,
    I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar II.
    I've been on lithium and seroquil for three weeks now. Yesterday my dose was upped to 900mg/day. Will I ever get my brain back??!?
    I used to be very intelligent when I wasn't crying in agony... but now... memory loss and forgetting simple things . Rage... more than before... absolutely no filter .. I say what's on my mind now good or bad. I just feel different. But I do not want to to be dependent on ANYONE ever, does it change . I feel so alone because I do not know a soul that has this. I Haven't been to work in like 7 weeks. Will I be able to do my same job again. It requires a lot of memorization and repetitive tasks and attention to detail etc. Please , if anyone can please just share their experience with me. I feel scared alot because I don't know what to expect. I feel better emotionally mind you, but I feel like I traded in my Intellect for emotional stability right now.
    Thanks.

    #2
    Hi Broken4life and welcome to the forum. You are not alone. All of us in some way or another understand where you are coming from. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is a tough pill to swallow. It is life changing.

    900mg of Seroquel is a lot for the body and mind to process. Unfortunately for some people it is necessary, at least until stability comes. You may not have to stay on this dose long term once you are feeling better. Unfortunately many of the drugs used to treat mental illness can leave us feeling drugged and 'foggy'.

    I found it very difficult to work because of the illness and the drugs. It was also hard for me to admit I wasn't well enough to work. I kept wanting to go back too soon. My doctor supported me 100% and was patient and kept reminding me of why that wasn't a good idea.

    When you're up for it, do some reading. Get educated about the illness and the medication. Ask questions and be honest with your doctor. I made the mistake more than once of minimizing how badly I was doing.

    I don't know where you live but there might be a support group in your area. Some find them helpful, others do not. You can check here:

    Find your nearest Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) branch in your community.


    We're a very friendly supportive bunch here. Post anytime. Share as little or as much of yourself as you feel comfortable with. Vent if you need to. Remember you are not alone.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

    Comment


      #3
      Hi broken and welcome. I don't know a great deal about bipolar but I have been challenged with major depressive disorder for a long time. AJ is right. It can be life changing. But it doesn't make you any less of a person. Your intellect will be a powerful ally in helping you come to terms with your condition. As AJ said education is important in helping you understand bipolar. You might have to brace yourself for a rough ride but it isn't permanent. There is every reason to believe that things will improve.

      As a word of encouragement my good friend is bipolar and has been for many years. Our mutual afflictions apparently drew us together. At any rate he recently retired from a successful senior position with the federal government. He has at one time or another related everything that you describe to me. I suppose the point I am trying to make is that it's not always easy living with a mood disorder but it is also far from the end of a rewarding, meaningful life.

      Give yourself time to get your illness in check. If you have a bad flu you take the time necessary to allow your body to recover. You have a very difficult illness to get under control. Don't minimize or trivialize the severity of your condition.

      There are good people here on the forum. I know the people here have guided me through some very rough patches over the past few years. I look forward to hearing about your progress. Take care and be good to yourself.

      Comment


        #4
        Hi I am new here. I am rapid cycling. I am amongst people who understand bipolar.....

        Comment


          #5
          Hello broken4life and purplelace. Welcome to the forums!
          uni

          ~ it's always worth it ~

          Comment


            #6
            Hello broken4life and purplelace. Welcome to the forums. Please feel free to ask questions, answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out a few of life's frustrations. Take Care. paul m
            "Alone we can do so little;
            Together we can do so much"
            Helen Keller

            Comment


              #7
              Welcome to the forum Purplelace.
              AJ

              Humans punish themselves endlessly
              for not being what they believe they should be.
              -Don Miguel Ruiz-

              Comment


                #8
                I will tell you, what annoys me. Is the ignorance about bipolar. I was once told perhaps I should try acupuncture. Can you imagine the stupidity. God, I just wanted to slap this person across the head.

                Comment


                  #9
                  awww You know what I've tried the Catholic way I've tried the Buddhist way...I've tried my way. Accupuncture tho, that's a new one I've heard. Shoot maybe should try that too.. jeeze. I've had people dissapointed with me my whole life because I'd be down then I'd be up and they thought I was healed (as did i) and then I'd be down again. People get angry with you because they can't reason with you or pull you out of the dark spot. My manic episodes never really last long. They get stolen away by sadness and misery. But now I have this expectation that the new medications instead of just an antidepressant... will help me. I can't really differentiate between mania and actually feeling happy. Can anyone?

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