I don't know where to start. This is my first time posting on a forum......
It's hard for me to understand what's going on with my emotions/feelings/thoughts. I'm scared to talk to people around me, for a few reasons.
1) They think this disorder is just me. Like I am seeking attention or acting out.
2) Will they understand even if they don't think I am just seeking attention?
3) I'm embarassed that my 'secret' will get out and I will be made fun of behind my back....
I've been told plenty of times that I shouldn't worry about what people think of me but, how do I NOT worry about people calling me crazy behind my back? How do I not worry about people assuming that any little emotion I have is going to be because I'm 'mentally unstable'? I haven't come across these things because I haven't put myself out there with friends/family. (Honestly, I don't have much 'friends' and the term 'friend' is dear to me. Not just assigned to anybody who I can laugh with)
"I dont know what to do anymore." is a phrase I use when I'm feeling overwhelmed + alone. Who do I reach out to? Who will understand what I am going through and not judge me? Who will NOT get sick of me when I feel like there is nothing I can do anymore? Because I feel like I've tried everything. But no matter what happens, there is always one thing I am sure of: I will break down to a point that I cannot and do not want to get out of bed for the day (sometimes a few days).
I've tried to talk to people. I feel like such a burden. I feel like its pointless because I can't wrap my head around this s#!+ myself, how do I expect someone to hear me out when I don't even know how to explain any of it? .. Once I get going on talking its like I can't stop ranting.
I'm also worried that every little sad/angry/confused emotion I have will be looked at as an effect of the disorder rather than ne just being me.... But is this really me? .. Do I accept this as a part of my personality/character? I hate the term 'normal' but it's all I long to be
It's hard for me to understand what's going on with my emotions/feelings/thoughts. I'm scared to talk to people around me, for a few reasons.
1) They think this disorder is just me. Like I am seeking attention or acting out.
2) Will they understand even if they don't think I am just seeking attention?
3) I'm embarassed that my 'secret' will get out and I will be made fun of behind my back....
I've been told plenty of times that I shouldn't worry about what people think of me but, how do I NOT worry about people calling me crazy behind my back? How do I not worry about people assuming that any little emotion I have is going to be because I'm 'mentally unstable'? I haven't come across these things because I haven't put myself out there with friends/family. (Honestly, I don't have much 'friends' and the term 'friend' is dear to me. Not just assigned to anybody who I can laugh with)
"I dont know what to do anymore." is a phrase I use when I'm feeling overwhelmed + alone. Who do I reach out to? Who will understand what I am going through and not judge me? Who will NOT get sick of me when I feel like there is nothing I can do anymore? Because I feel like I've tried everything. But no matter what happens, there is always one thing I am sure of: I will break down to a point that I cannot and do not want to get out of bed for the day (sometimes a few days).
I've tried to talk to people. I feel like such a burden. I feel like its pointless because I can't wrap my head around this s#!+ myself, how do I expect someone to hear me out when I don't even know how to explain any of it? .. Once I get going on talking its like I can't stop ranting.
I'm also worried that every little sad/angry/confused emotion I have will be looked at as an effect of the disorder rather than ne just being me.... But is this really me? .. Do I accept this as a part of my personality/character? I hate the term 'normal' but it's all I long to be
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