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Dealing with Stigma

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    #31
    You have such a positive attitude Gossip. Not many students would forge thru and look at it in a positive light.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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      #32
      We do these exams twice a year. The year that I resat eight stations, I failed both of them. When I got my result for the first one I got fairly depressed (not the worst ever, but definitely very real). My mentor was a huge part of helping me through that, and I passed all eight stations on my second try. I figure that if that turned out okay in spite of feeling impossible when I was facing it down, I can handle one that's less than half the magnitude. When I'm well I'm a fairly positive person in general, it's just when my moods are struggling that my attitude gets screwed up.
      Pressure makes diamonds....

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        #33
        I had a long conversation with the Ombuds the other day. More than an hour! A very small part of what came out of it, is the fact that I didn't actually do anything wrong. Apparently it was deemed inappropriate for my mentor to be supporting me in the way that she was (and had been for years, but the associate dean had just found out about it). My only crime was accepting help and support that was freely offered. Also I'm apparently not being punished, just reminded to "focus on being a student," whatever that means, and he gave the Ombuds a different story on a couple of other things as well. It sounds like the restriction on contacting my mentor may not be forever, and that things will evolve if I keep my head down and stay in line. Not that I was ever out of line! Things had better evolve... she's teaching me again next fall, which obviously won't work if I'm not allowed to talk to her! So overall positive developments, but I'm super frustrated that it took getting the Ombuds' office involved to figure this all out. Things aren't totally sorted, but getting this far is a huge weight off! The stress of it all has been affecting my academics, so I'm praying that now that this is somewhat sorted I'll be able to re-focus my brain. I'm honestly not sure if I passed my swine medicine midterm, and if I failed it they'd actually have grounds to kick me out... hopefully the rest of my coursework would be taken into consideration (I am not a problem student academically), as well as the amount of stress I was under, but no guarantees. Crossing my fingers so hard!!
        Pressure makes diamonds....

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          #34
          I'll cross mine too.
          AJ

          Humans punish themselves endlessly
          for not being what they believe they should be.
          -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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            #35
            Good Luck Gossip. Take Care. paul m
            "Alone we can do so little;
            Together we can do so much"
            Helen Keller

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              #36
              Thank you both! I still haven't gotten my grade for swine medicine. I have a small animal medicine and surgery midterm tomorrow and am in the OR on Wednesday, so it's a busy week. Thankfully I should be able to focus better with some of this stress off my plate.
              Pressure makes diamonds....

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                #37
                I hope your next exams go well Gossip.
                AJ

                Humans punish themselves endlessly
                for not being what they believe they should be.
                -Don Miguel Ruiz-

                Comment


                  #38
                  I can't believe I didn't update this!

                  I had a meeting last week with the student services advisor, and a few other pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place. She tapped out, and I'd bet a semester's tuition that in the process she reported my relationship with the prof to the associate dean. He decided it was inappropriate, and stepped in to end it. If she wanted to bail that's fine... it's entirely her decision, though I wish she'd said something to me directly instead of involving administration. But I don't think it's fair of her to have taken my relationship with the prof down with her!

                  I'm under contract to meet with her monthly, which was supposed to be for mental health support. She's made it clear that she'd rather not see me in her office, and that no further support will be offered, but I still have this obligation. I'm angry and frustrated, and I don't think that's out of line. Obviously I'll stay in line as long as I'm a student, but after I graduate I may have something to say to her!
                  Pressure makes diamonds....

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                    #39
                    And just like that there's another update....

                    My mentor was on campus today. I have no clue why, since she's on sabbatical, but she came to rounds. That means we were in the same place for an hour and a half. Obviously I know better than to approach her, and we both have to be very careful what people see in terms of non-verbals etc. but of course we did cross paths. I got a small but very warm smile. She's Aussie, and I know it's a stereotype but she isn't so great at hiding her feelings. I think we're just fine!

                    (it's my birthday... I'm almost wondering if she pulled my file and came in today on purpose... wouldn't put it past her!)
                    Pressure makes diamonds....

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                      #40
                      Happy belated birthday Gossip. Take Care. paul m
                      "Alone we can do so little;
                      Together we can do so much"
                      Helen Keller

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                        #41
                        Thanks paul!
                        Pressure makes diamonds....

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