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    Alcohol and meds.

    There’s nothing more I like than to come home after a crappy head day (thinking of self harm) and have a few beers or rums. I have days that torture me so a couple hours of relief feels so good. They say that alcohol has a negative effect when taking meds to treat my BP but I don’t care. My psychiatrist and my therapist don’t have to deal with the daily mental mess that I do. I figure a few drinks a night maybe 5 days a week is better than the mental stress I’m under. I’m not getting hammered just enough to relax me at the end of a day.

    Does anyone one have any experience with this situation or have some information?

    #2
    I drink alcohol maybe a couple times a month. In the past it was more, ranging from weekend binge drinking to near daily intake. I never had issues with it interacting with meds, but it has caused major issues with mood stability. I absolutely understand the desire to escape, but I think alcohol can be quite toxic. I also found it messed up my sleep as well. I cannot lie, I now consume a bit of pot at night and i feel it doesn't have negative effects to the same extent,even if there are some. Also, as a former self harmer, I am not sure it is the most sustainable copying mechanism. I don't know why you go down that road, but I am not so sure the way out will be through alcohol... I am sorry you even feel that need to escape.

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      #3
      Thanks for your reply. I have many negatives in my life that tear at me on a daily basis and I like to get out of that bad place. So I guess drinking is probably more destructive than constructive but at that moment it’s a relief. I feel like I’m trying to validate my reasons for drinking. I just need to get by till I’m out of this slump. I haven’t smoked pot in over 20 years but I’m hearing positive things about it. I got a prescription from my doc but my wife wouldn’t let me fill it because she says I have a addictive personality. Sorry for my poor writing skills. I’m dyslexic as well.

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        #4
        Hmmm would another solution, maybe, to try to cut back? Either less days or less alcohol? It's just a thought. I imagine one you have probably been told. ugh.

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          #5
          I get a feeling from your messages that you are a kind, warm and compassionate individual. You’re right. I should cut back and yes I have been told from my psychiatrist and therapist as well. Maybe working with my psychiatrist I’ll get on the right meds where I won’t an alcohol escape daily. I just haven’t had much luck with finding the right meds and to say I’m discouraged would be an understatement.

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            #6
            It does take some time. I think it took me nearly ten years from diagnosis to get everything in order, that being the right meds and a daily routine. I think part of it is giving up on the idea you can live a "normal" life. It doesn't mean it will be a bad life, it just requires some tweaking. And a lot of patience! I hope you are able to find a med that works. It definitely helps.

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              #7
              It has been about four years since my diagnosis so I guess I just need to keep working at it. My life with work and all really doesn’t support a routine. I mostly work then waist away my time off trying to get motivated to accomplish some chores around the house and yard. Then I feel like crap because I got nothing done. I was hoping to find a normal life again but maybe you’re right and I’ll need to just look for a better life than what I have now and be happy with it. I tried to get off all my meds to see how I’d feel without but now fell into a depression so that failed miserably. I basically told my psychiatrist I was feeling better to have his support weening off all my meds. Now I’m back to increasing meds again. Discouraging I’ll tell you.

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                #8
                Hello Dexter, sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I certainly understand the want to have a few moments peace from our mind - I find a drink can break the cycle of negative thought in my head. That said, so can many other things - a chat with a good friend, listening to music, watching a very engaging movie (thrillers are my go to)...

                I hope you find a comfortable balance soon
                Kaight

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                  #9
                  Thanks for your reply Kaight. I do listen to a lot of music as my job involves a lot of driving and my head always goes to thinking of the negatives in my life. I used to be a social butterfly always getting together with as many friends as much as I could until my hypo hit. Now I’m a completely different person. I’d rather not visit with people now so I’m not reminded of all the issues I’m going through. Conversations always seem to bring up my short comings or problems I have. So I find it’s just easier to keep to myself. I do watch a lot of sports on tv and that does help. Beers and hockey is my favorite past time and hockey season starts in a couple weeks. I just know I’m not making any progress by secluding myself. If I’m not making progress I get upset with myself.

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                    #10
                    Hey Dexter,

                    Sorry to hear this. Yeah, I actually struggled with substance abuse a couple years before I was diagnosed with BP. I was sober for about 3 years before my diagnosis, so I haven't had the "pleasure" of any vice during my BP recovery- Which I am happy that I have remained sober, but I can totally relate to the daily negative self talk and just wanting to escape it. I have tried so many different things to try to make myself feel better. What I find really worked for me is a way for my to have an outlet for the emotion I am feeling, for example (this might sound a little cheesy) if I am feeling depressed and I will write/tell it out, swears and all! Some other days---my family had a large property and I went to a really inexpensive store and bought a bunch of super cheap plates and I threw them and shattered them all. Sometime screaming into my pillow made me feel a little better. I am not suggesting doing anything harmful to yourself/others or anything illegal, just within safe limitations. My point it expressing myself in some ways helps me expel some of the feelings I have so I don't keep them bottled up. Anyways, just thought I would share some of my experience. I really hope you are feeling a little better
                    Last edited by Choco_Love; October 7, 2019, 01:31 PM.

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                      #11
                      Hi Choco_Love

                      Thanks for sharing. I’m always interested in hearing how others deal with their issues and frustrations. If I read a hundred posts and find one thing that helps me out that’s a big win. When I’m angry at someone I do write down stuff and vent with words that can get very nasty sometimes. I know I can never send this but I’ll look at it the next day and go wow I was really pissed off. I think getting it out during a rage helps me calm down a bit and I’ll take any relief I can get. Acting out out of rage has been a weak spot of mine and I’m working on that. Having 4-8 calms me down and makes me feel better. My psychiatrist says that alcohol counteracts the meds to treats my illness and that’s where the problem lies.

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                        #12
                        I also like to have a few drinks. Being bipolar is hell a times. I do not care about the side effects. I want relief for a sort time. I’m sick of being told by a psychiatrist what time and feel when they have never been there. They just want you drugged to the point that you do not feel zip. I now tell them zip.

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                          #13
                          That’s exactly how I feel Shelby. I’ve always had that party nature so to take that away and give me bipolar isn’t a world that I’m interested in living in. He will just have to treat me the way I am.

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