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    Having Trouble

    I”m new to the forum. I would like to start off by saying hello to everyone, been actively reading these forums for about 2-3 weeks now and finally made an account.

    I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 a year ago. I had a maniac episode that put me in pysch ward for a week. During the maniac episode i was on a super high for 3 months. I was happy all the time and super excited about life, i had no emotions other than happy. I also thought god was talking to me. The pyschiatrist that diagnosed me said the worst thing that can happen to me after my episode are major depression and suicide. The last year of my life has been the hardest ever. Battling with depression is no joke. Almost impossible for me to get out of bed and do anything. I have been on one medication for my bipolar, im now on 3 meds. I see a pyschologist every other week and see my doctor every other week to check in. Ive been battling hard and trying to stay strong but its so tough.

    Im also very anxious person and hate social situations. Even though when im in the social situation im an extremely good talker and can talk alot. But still social anxiety and nervousness has always been tough on me. Financially my house is almost paid off and im only 26 yrs old. I have a high paying job now and have a small business that is earning me around 30k a yr. I have always had a problem with money though, im obsessed with it. I always want more. Anyways my job is about to go obsolete so i am taking a course now that is 1 yr long, that requires 2-3 hrs of studying a day. Im super nervous and scared becauae im struggling with the course and no matter what i do i have a hard time even sitting down to 30min of it let alone 2-3 hrs. This course plus knowing my job will be done in a yr is really scaring me. My job right now requires almost no social interaction which i love. The course im doing requires me to stay at home, which i love, but the course itself is. a little boring. But still I wanna work at home. Money wont be an issue because in 2 yrs my house will be completely paid off and my wife makes alot of money as well.
    I guess to sum it up feeling stressed about job, course, feeling depressed and scared due to social anxiety and nerves and overall just want to hear ur guys opionion. Also i have started playing poker just for fun, with play chips and im doing really well, been playing for a long time now and was considering starting to play for real money. Nothing major just 2 dollar buy ins. Im very smart with bankroll management and never lose my chip stack. But ya my wife brings me joy, my dog, and poker right now, aside from that not much else

    #2
    Hi BackTiger111 and welcome to the forum. It sounds like once you've decided to do something you work really hard to accomplish that goal. Good for you! If I were to choose another career (I am retired now), I'd choose something that I can do without interaction with people, or at least at a minimal. Dealing with people can be rewarding, but a challenge.

    I have anxiety when going to a social function, but once I get there I usually do okay with conversations. I try to limit the length of time I'm in an environment like that. It just makes it easier when it's a shorter time period.

    I can relate to having manic episode and then a crash into a deep dark depression. It can be a very difficult hole to climb out of. It sounds like you have a good support system in place which can make a huge difference. Feelings of isolation can add to our struggle to find our way back.

    I don't have an 'addictive' personality and would unlikely fall into a gambling mess, but some people might. A $2 buy in sounds like a fun game, rather then a stressful one.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

    Comment


      #3
      Thanks for the reply AJ I appreciate it

      Comment


        #4
        You’re welcome.
        AJ

        Humans punish themselves endlessly
        for not being what they believe they should be.
        -Don Miguel Ruiz-

        Comment


          #5
          Welcome BlackTiger111,

          Sorry to hear you a struggling so much. I know how hard it can be to get out of bed. I also know how hard it can be to change jobs. I have changed jobs a few times, never easy. Now I am considering retraining, but am overwhelmed at having to study... my attention span is very short. My memory is even shorter.

          I hope that your studying goes well. Do you have a time frame in which the course has to be finished, or can you go at your own pace?

          Take care,
          Kaight

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