Bipolar II here and GAD. As my title says, how do you know when it's good as it's ever going to get? Whenever I start to feel 'good' and 'happy' it ends up being a mania. I'm trying to over-ride my brain in situations where I would normally be 'happy' and really I'm not. Or it's the opposite - way too happy. I feel like I don't know what it's like to actually be happy anymore and I refuse to accept that. I'm not sure what else I could do differently. I've been through the gamut of medications - currently on 5 for various reasons. I exercise, eat decently, have a regimented sleep schedule most of the time, stay hydrated, limit my caffeine to one coffee in the day. I did CBT for almost 2 years and I don't think it helped much. The thing is, I'm a 'functioning' person with bipolar II. I don't lay around all day because I know I'm not supposed to. I shower every day and so on, because I know it's important, etc. So when is it ever going to be 'good' - whatever that is anymore? I don't want to give in to the thought that this is as good as it's ever going to get for the rest of my life. That is a horrible, depressing thought and I will do anything in my power to not let it be. I would love some suggestions in case I'm missing something. Anything, please!
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Hi Eazybreezy02 and welcome to the forums. It seems to me that you've done a lot of work for your well being. That's great!
I also function well in most circumstances too. It can be discouraging when I think I'm not where I want to be in life, on many levels. I have to remind myself that life is a work in progress and it is not linear. I try to celebrate the little victories and not dwell on the more challenging days. Of course this is easier said then done.
I think our yardstick of 'good' can trip us up sometimes.
AJ
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz- -
Thanks AJ, you're right, the yardstick can trip me up. I guess when I was told that things will never be the 'same' going forward, I found it hard to accept. I haven't been 'stable' in over four years and I just think it has to be better than this, especially when my brain is whacked out (either doomed or flying around - sometimes both at the same time). Each time an 'episode' happens, I lose hope. I'm sick of all the different drugs, so many didn't work and others side effects were horrible, even after giving them some time. Sometimes I almost like heading into mania, I feel (albeit false sense) happy, excited, energized, creative, productive. If only it didn't come with being an arsehole, short temper, irritable, edgy, and racing thoughts. Someone I love pointed me to this site/forum to find similar people and how/what they do to not only cope, but make their life better. If you know of anyone out there who can help with this, I'd be glad to connect.Comment
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Hi Eazybreezy02. I also went thru the process of trial and toss (that's what I call it) with medications. There are a lot of options out there. That's the good news. The bad news is that it can take quite a while to find a drug or combination of drugs that are helpful, with side effects that can be managed. I found using non drug strategies to cope and have a good life were and are also very important.
Are you looking for a support group? On line? In person? There is a private message feature on these forums as well. It is turned off by default but you can go in your profile and turn it on.AJ
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-Comment
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I guess I'm just looking for people who are going through or have been through this cycle of misery and what they are doing or what they've done to make life better. Don't get me wrong, there are good things in life, bits and pieces here and there but my overall picture is dismal. I'm open to anything as I just want to see if there is something I've missed that I can do and/or take or haven't thought of. I appreciate your advice.Comment
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I have long wondered the same thing. is this as good as it gets. struggled for years with it.
one thing that's helped me is exploring my imagined expectations. those are, the way we think life should be. milestones, possessions, relationships, all of it. My own imagined expectations, well, lets just say they were kind of Hollywood portrayals of life.
What would happen if you shifted from the idea of happiness to contentment. I don't ask this lightly because its a powerful question. I've heard it said happiness is the flipside of sadness and experiencing one will inevitably lead to experiencing the other. Contentment is more of a focus on gratitude, peace and joy. Joy is far different than happiness. Happiness is dependent on external events, Joy springs from within us and can be nurtured.
What do you think about that? does any of it resonate with you?Comment
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Eazybreezy02 I think it's good to ask those kinds of questions. It leaves us open to new possibilities.
Barefoot your comments are thought provoking. Thank you for sharing them.AJ
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-Comment
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Thanks, this is helpful. I will consider what you said and try shifting my focus/thoughts though a different lens. I've relapsed into the depression side of things and it's been horrible lately. I just keep thinking "how am I going to get out of this? what can I do differently this time that will get me out of this faster?". I'm just sick of this really.Originally posted by Barefootboy View Post
AJ, thanks for you help tooComment
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