Hi, I am new to this forum and this is my first post here.
I am a 28yo female and I have been struggling with, (not only living with, but accepting) my mental illness for years. I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, GAD, and panic disorder due to childhood trauma. I am medicated but I do find it very difficult to even say it out loud because of the embarrassment I feel.
I am currently in counseling and have been for only a couple of months now. (Here in Canada its hard to get counseling due the long wait list since we have free health care). But my counselor actually encouraged me to join some kind of support group for people who also suffer with similar mental illness as I do. I don't really have much support except for my boyfriend and my aunt, so I think this will be good for me to "get out of my comfort zone" and talk about these things with people who understand the everyday struggle that I live day to day.
I have always been taught that keeping everything bottled up inside is what's best, because my mother felt that "talking about it was an inconvenience to her". The more I tried to talk about my feelings/what I have been experiencing, the more I "stressed her out". I started showing signs of mental illness at age 7 but my mother could not be bothered to get me help. It was easier for her to just pretend it wasn't there. It wasn't until I turned 18 that I was finally able to find a doctor to help me without needing parental consent.
(Sorry for rambling)
Basically, the reason for this post is to get some input on how the average person who also suffers with bipolar disorder is able to live a normal day to day life. The way I struggle feels unbearable most days. My medication zombifies me and I have no motivation to do anything, but if I decrease my dose, I'm constantly "rollercoasting" and I have more manic and manic depressive episodes. I feel like I just can't win and I have a hard time accepting that this is the way I am.
I haven't worked in years, and I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle the the pressure. I feel like a failure at life every day, and that this is "as good as it's going to get".
if you could give 1 piece of advice that helped you have a better outlook on life, what would it be ? I'm desperate for answers. I've basically hit rock bottom.
Thank you for listening and I'm sorry this post was so long. I would appreciate any feedback at all.
I am a 28yo female and I have been struggling with, (not only living with, but accepting) my mental illness for years. I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, GAD, and panic disorder due to childhood trauma. I am medicated but I do find it very difficult to even say it out loud because of the embarrassment I feel.
I am currently in counseling and have been for only a couple of months now. (Here in Canada its hard to get counseling due the long wait list since we have free health care). But my counselor actually encouraged me to join some kind of support group for people who also suffer with similar mental illness as I do. I don't really have much support except for my boyfriend and my aunt, so I think this will be good for me to "get out of my comfort zone" and talk about these things with people who understand the everyday struggle that I live day to day.
I have always been taught that keeping everything bottled up inside is what's best, because my mother felt that "talking about it was an inconvenience to her". The more I tried to talk about my feelings/what I have been experiencing, the more I "stressed her out". I started showing signs of mental illness at age 7 but my mother could not be bothered to get me help. It was easier for her to just pretend it wasn't there. It wasn't until I turned 18 that I was finally able to find a doctor to help me without needing parental consent.
(Sorry for rambling)
Basically, the reason for this post is to get some input on how the average person who also suffers with bipolar disorder is able to live a normal day to day life. The way I struggle feels unbearable most days. My medication zombifies me and I have no motivation to do anything, but if I decrease my dose, I'm constantly "rollercoasting" and I have more manic and manic depressive episodes. I feel like I just can't win and I have a hard time accepting that this is the way I am.
I haven't worked in years, and I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle the the pressure. I feel like a failure at life every day, and that this is "as good as it's going to get".
if you could give 1 piece of advice that helped you have a better outlook on life, what would it be ? I'm desperate for answers. I've basically hit rock bottom.
Thank you for listening and I'm sorry this post was so long. I would appreciate any feedback at all.
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