anxiety and depression

[Its Pairadice]

Hey everyone , Im Joel. Ive been suffering with anxiety and depression for 8 years now. It started when my parents broke up.

[AJ]

Hi Joel and welcome to the forum. You'll find this to be a very supportive friendly bunch.

[Quito]

Hi Joel - welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you had to experience your parent's break-up and also depression and anxiety.

If you focus on surrounding yourself with caring friends and figure out a goal for your future, no matter how small a goal it is, I think you will feel better with time. Are you seeking treatment from a doctor? I know it's a pain to keep going back to a doctor, but sometimes that's what we need to do, so they can get to know us and figure out the best treatment.
You deserve to have a life, despite what happened in your parent's marriage. If neither of them can be there for you, maybe you can find a good pastor to speak with or a group for folks with depression/anxiety? Baby steps to get better, be patient with yourself and keep posting here because like AJ said, people on this forum are kind and supportive. (((hugs)))

[paul m]

Hello Joel and welcome to the forum. Please feel free to ask questions, answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out a few of life's frustrations.

Parents braking up can start many people on a downward slide that is hard to recover from. Hopefully you will find the answers to your problems with anxiety and depression. Take Care. paul m

[Its Pairadice]

thanks guys im just having a hard time dealing with life lately

[bella22]

Hi Joel, I couldn't agree more with what some of the others have written before me. I do understand what you're going through. My parents split up three years ago. In my case it was the best for everyone that they are no longer together, but ever since then I've been feeling lost, confused and guilty. Plus I began to suffer alot from anxiety and depression as well. I want you to know you're not alone. I'm sorry for what you're going through. When you said you're having a hard time dealing with life lately, trust me I have said that on more than one occasion in my life. You will get through this. I hope you will share whatever is on your mind, we can help each other.

Bella

[Its Pairadice]

im still having a hard time

[bella22]

Hope you're okay Joel. I'm hurting a lot tonight. I can't sleep. My heart hurts, so much. Sending you a hug

Bella

[hellfish]

Bella I am feeling for you. Remember you are not alone. All the people on this board my not know one another personally but we know one thing: what mental illness feels like. The best I can do ypfor you tonight Bella is pray for you you and send you out my best wishes....stay strong

[hellfish]

The biggest problem I am having now is the numbness I feel. The anxiety is low and the depression is gone but I feel so....numb....It's like I don't care...not sure if it's the meds or what but...i don't know...

[bella22]

Thank you for the very thoughtful response hellfish, that genuinely meant alot to me. In those dark times, knowing someone cares that you'll make it through means alot. Sometimes I'm convinced that nobody in my life would even care if I drop out of sight. As pathetic as that sounds, its a painful thought. About the way you're feeling, I'm not sure whether its the meds either, but I can tell you without a doubt that I have felt that way before. In the past when my depression hit the lowest point, I too became numb. I was completely withdrawn from my surroundings. Nothing really existed, and nothing really mattered. You're not alone in what you are experiencing, but I want you to remember to take care of yourself during this time because its easy to neglect the simple things like eating or drinking. You will get out of this okay hellfish, you just have to keep fighting through it. It will get better. I know I can't say much to help but I'm truly sending you my best and hoping that you will get through this okay. Stay strong always.

Bella

[Determined]

Hellfish, I sometimes thought the numbness was a way for my mind to heal itself. It was uncomfortable but necessary and it did go away

[bucky310]

Hey Hellfish, I can relate to the numbness you're speaking of. I referred to it as an "indifference" to everything. No matter what happened to me, good or bad, I didn't really care. However, this was me without meds. I was pretty sure that this was me distancing myself from my own life to make sure I didn't suffer too much. I often compare it, now, to watching my life through a tv screen. It didn't feel as if I was actually there.

Thankfully, I sought out help from my doctor and got it. It also took a while to get my meds properly balanced, but, right now I think they are. That's the good thing about doctors I feel. I tend to visit after realizing that I'm not feeling normal and asking for my meds to be rebalanced (either up or down in doseage, I've done both).

I hope you feel better, it takes time but things get a LOT better.

Have a good one.

[hellfish]

Thank you Bucky-

I feel so depersonalized sometimes. I love my wife and daughter with all my heart but sometimes I just want to leave and hide away and just be alone. What's really funny is I had at one time I had severe hypochondria. I can tell you with all the honesty in my heart of hearts that if I got some serious illness and died at this point, I am not sure I would really care.

I would just want to make sure my wife and daughter were taken care of financially and they had everything they needed to move on with their lives. Where I am confused is if I am wondering have I accepted the inevitability of my own mortality or is this just the illness manifesting itself in a new, sinister way.

Don't get me wrong here- I would not do anything intentionally harm myself or anyone else. That said, if something did happen to me I would accept it- it's just a really strange feeling and I am not sure if this is 'healing' or something else.

[Quito]

How are you doing, Joel?