Likely, by the time anyone reads or responds to this, I'll have already had my interview. I've been back to school over the past 2 years (graduated in June) to get more skills to help me get a better job than a minimum-wage drudgery job. I don't really care about the interview: the job I could do, possibly, but I don't care. There are very few things I care about anymore. Before, my existential quandaries would (seemingly) default to thoughts of suicide, but now there's just this big nothingness when I think about mortality. I feel like a disposable husk, the outer coverings of some important food (although it can be argued that corn is not as important as it is merely widely used). If I get this job (which is a big if because I have some difficulty speaking clearly/coherently and have attention issues) I could do it, but the emptiness won't likely dissolve because of it; I fear that it'll just culminate in another attempt, which I don't want to do to my wife. But, what do I do? I don't really want to do anything, I'm slightly nihilistic in that I see no purpose or meaning to my life. I wish I could have passion for something/anything. I'm an okay singer, but singing just reminds me that I can't play any other instrument (at least very well) because of my physical disability. I'm working on a big personal project but two major issues are the recording of the music (which I usually have to end up doing one note at a time, then piecing it all together, which takes forever) and animating (as I'm not an illustrator). I've essentially given up on my graphic novel idea because I'm not an illustrator and I can't afford to get any artists interested in helping out. And I'm just so tired anyway. Bleagh...