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Depression is not a joke

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    Depression is not a joke

    Some people think that DEPRESSION is a CHOICE ..
    ..
    I've been involved at least three times in debates about this kind of point .. in real world & in the virtual world of Facebook & internet .. and it was always about ( healthy ) people saying this to ( depressed ) ones ..
    ..
    Some people might agree .. some might not .. but when it comes to me .. I neither agree nor disagree .. or maybe agree & disagree .. or let's say : I don't know & I don't care .. because Depression is neither a myth .. nor a joke .. it's a FACT ..
    ..
    Whatever it is .. the only way I can see depression as a CHOICE is when I find myself in a position where I have to CHOOSE .. choose between being comforted with a LIE .. or being hurt by knowing the TRUTH ..
    ..
    I don't want to talk on behalf of anyone .. I only talk to myself about myself ..
    ..
    Yes .. that's the only way I can see it .. it happened a lot to me in my life .. & it's still happening .. and it really hurts .. but I can't help it .. My mind can accept nothing but FACTS .. no matter how painful they can be ..
    ..

    #2
    I hear you. Depression is indeed a fact, any way you slice it. My pet peeve is that the emotion referred to as "depression" and the disorder of "depression" (or "depressive illness") are taken as one and the same by so many in the general public. There's still a lot of education needed, Progress is being made,but meanwhile we deal with the attitudes of those who can't relate because they've never experienced a depressive episode.
    uni

    ~ it's always worth it ~

    Comment


      #3
      I agree with both of you...depression is not our choice it's something we have and can only try to control it. People think and assume that we have nothing to be depressed about....like do they really think this is our choice to be depressed.

      It's not my choice it's my illness and I'm trying to do the best that I can. We're not all cut from the same cloth....we see, feel and experience life very differently.

      All we can really do is try to help people understand that this is an illness not a choice.

      Comment


        #4
        They cannot say DIABETES is a choice ..
        they cannot say ASTHMA is a choice ..
        But they say DEPRESSION is a choice ..
        The question is why ???
        ..
        lack of knowledge .. maybe
        lack of required diagnostic technology ..
        ..
        Uni said Education .. yes that's true ..
        but even psychiatrists scientists need to know more about DEPRESSION ..

        Comment


          #5
          Hello Jafar. I agree that some experts(docs and otherwise) need to be educated about depression. I've been fortunate enough in the last few yrs to able able to slowly crawl into some circles where there are people who can make a difference(generally there is a reluctance to admit "amateurs" , not my word) . My tongue constantly hurts because I'm always trying to bite it to keep from saying something that will label me as unworthy (like saying "you sir are a f***ing idiot", not anyone on here, but some supposed experts that I meet). Doesn't go down well and I know better ways of telling someone they don't know what they are talking about but it is oh so slow.

          On the other hand I've been doing a bit of public speaking these days(nothing big time, local paper , Lion's clubs etc) and I'm finding that people are eager to hear of my experiences and want to learn more about mental health. Certainly not all people, but a lot more than I thought. (unfortunately docs etc aren't the ones attending).

          Having complained about docs, I will say that some are trying very hard to find out what works. Crest BD http://www.crestbd.ca/about/ has a number of those medical personal that actually care about what I think (and others think). They do a pretty good job of asking people who are suffering how they would like to be treated and what they thing works. They have an interesting website, no great cures, but at least they are looking at things other than medication. I've taken part in several of their research projects. Take Care. paul m
          "Alone we can do so little;
          Together we can do so much"
          Helen Keller

          Comment


            #6
            paul m I think that is fantastic that you are doing some public speaking! We need more people like you. I will never be one of them because I'm too worried about peoples' judgement. I wish I didn't have to feel this way. I wish mental illness didn't have the terrible stigma that it does. But it is, unfortunately, the reality. Perhaps when I'm retired and don't have to worry about my career I might feel more able to speak out...

            Thank you paul m. You are doing a great thing!

            Neli

            Comment


              #7
              Hello Paul
              I'm glad you're agreeing with me & im glad that you're trying to do something about it .. It's good that you can bite your tongue without cutting it .. I don't think it's easy to stop yourself from being offensive sometimes ..
              ..
              Thank you for sharing your experiences ..

              Comment


                #8
                Mmmmm
                CREST BD
                I didn't know about this group ( or Team ) ..
                seems interesting ..

                Comment


                  #9
                  Paul, you continue to inspire me! Thank you and congratulations on the public education that you do. I will check out that link.
                  uni

                  ~ it's always worth it ~

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Hello Everyone, thx for your comments. Nellie it is easier when you don't have to worry about stigma. Although few places admit to being biased about mental health issues, I haven't seen too many of my friends get promoted after admitting that they had a serious mental illness.

                    Jafar. Crest BD is an interesting place. In another spot I will be posting more about them. Take Care. paul m
                    "Alone we can do so little;
                    Together we can do so much"
                    Helen Keller

                    Comment


                      #11
                      It's great to hear someone like you Paul is trying to spread the word about depression. I was once told by a Therapist I had a chemical in balance due to being in a depressed situation for so many years. In AAI learned things became easier if we shared our stories to allow people to know they weren't alone in their pain. Although our stories are different our feelings and pain were the same. I once had a women I had met say to me, I never thought a man could feel the same as a woman. As a man I spent many years hiding emotions because of how I was raised. Most people with addiction are running from something they just don't know it. Once sober you must begin to deal with not only your pain but the pain you have caused to others. This is the beginning of the healing process. I am afraid, ambarrassed & ashamed of being depressed. People who once spoke to me now turn the other way. I walk into a room active with chatter go silent because of my trying to come out. Sure there is a lot more people spreading the word about depression but they don't understand. Many think by being positive it will go away. Although being positive and using self affirmation helps and is a step in the right direction. We need others in our lives to make it meaningful. I was told I was nothing for so many years I have a difficult time convincing myself otherwise. I spend every day trying to convince myself that I matter. Even when I know I am a good person who always think of others rather than himself. Life and the battle goes on and now I try to convince myself that hope is something real that it exist. When I come hear and read your stories it's what I'm looking for. Hoping one day I will have someone show me some form of affection. It has been such a long time since I have heard words like I love you or had a hug. I honestly forget what it feels like. I always hope that sharing my thoughts helps someone. I know it helps me.
                      Denis

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Hello Denis. Thx for your comments. It wasn't so many yrs ago that I was the centre of attention in my area, however not for good things. The local small town papers may not know who the Prime Minister is, but they do know how to head line Local Man charged with whatever. Not to mention all of the other things that I had done while manic that gave the local rumour mongers something to talk about. So for many years it was pretty hard for me to even get anyone local to speak to me. People that I had known for yrs would literally cross the street to avoid me. I still haven't had a sibling in my house in 19 yrs (I have 5) They are welcome, but they aren't very forgiving.

                        However little by little, as I got better I took on whatever volunteer jobs I could( try getting a volunteer job in Ontario with even a minor , no time served , criminal record is not easy). I say hello to others suffering like me, and eventually here I am,In demand. I could hold grudges but I reserve that for those that I know really tried to screw me over when I was really ill.

                        Of course it was more complicated than that, but changing my own attitude to one of "I'm as good as and the next guy" and saying hello to literally everyone I meet whether they say hello back or not has helped me. Unless I'm in Toronto, they really look at you strange when you start saying hello to strangers on the subway.

                        You are as good as the next person and you do matter. While I volunteer a lot, not everyone can do that. However everyone can say hello to somebody most days if they are out. Even if it's only that great Canadian conversation "how do like this weather eh" said to a complete stranger. Not everyone will appreciate it, but a surprising number of people do, especially us older geezers LOL. You are a good person, never forget that. Also remember when you are feeling lonly , just saying hello to someone else may take some of the lonliness out of both of your lifes. Take Care. paul m
                        "Alone we can do so little;
                        Together we can do so much"
                        Helen Keller

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Center of attention in local area but in a negative way ..
                          ..
                          WOW

                          A situation I don't wish to be in .. maybe nobody wants to be in ..
                          ..
                          however .. I won't say anything about this ..
                          im not even sure that I can handle a situation like this ..
                          ..
                          but it is good to hear this from you , Paul

                          Comment


                            #14
                            paul m, it makes me so mad when I hear about how your siblings treat you. Hasn't any of this mental illness awareness reached them???

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Depression as a choice? Hmmmm.

                              I think I could say that depression affects your choices. I may also say that your choices can influence depression. Does anybody actually choose depression? I would like to think not although there are some questionable lifestyle choices that would appear to glamorize depression.

                              With that in mind, I think the notion of choosing depression goes hand in hand with the stigma we are all too familiar with. There certainly are those who continue to see the depressed person as making their own situation. Thanks to the effort to educate, this dangerous notion is slowly being dispelled.
                              ​​

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