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    No one really knows the struggle I have to live my life the way I do. The struggle to keep going, to be a decent person, to control myself, to care. I'm exhausted from being this way and affecting the people around me the way I do. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to me. I'm not sure whether my faith in God is strong enough to survive my struggle. What do I do if I lose faith and try to escape and fall deeper? How do I feel worth to those around me when I am such a burden?

    I'm just posting this here because I know I can without judgment, rejection, guilt, or fear.

    It is the only place I can.

    Hello resilient1. Depression and other mental illnesses are certainly unfair illnesses. Both to the sufferer and to those around them. Just the fact that they are very often extremely hard to treat make them seem unfair. One of the worse problems (at least in my mind, but maybe not others) is the fact that they often lower our self esteem to the point where we figure that perhaps we are not trying hard enough or no matter what we try , we feel nothing will work.

    I know there have been times when I have given up as I could not see any solution. Fortunately I'm still here. The tough times are still around at times but and I have the opportunity to enjoy life now. I also know that if I slide into a tough spot that it will eventually end.

    I hope that your slide will end and that some good times will be in your future. Take Care. paul m
    "Alone we can do so little;
    Together we can do so much"
    Helen Keller


      Boy can i relate to all you are saying.

      Your faith in God is as strong as it can be in a human way. Ask God how you can use God's strength.

      By the way, I think that people who struggle with mental illness are a lot stronger than they think they are because depression, or other mental health problems tend to attack our self esteem (as Paul m said). The strongest people I know are those struggling with their mental health. It has been and still often enough is the hardest job I've ever had.


        Yep. I'm 56 yo and have been having a lot of confidence issues. Things I used to just tackle, I now put off and explain off because I don't have the confidence I used to have. I think part of it is due to my periodic physical limitations, but depression is surely affecting it as well.


          Confidence is usually the first thing affected. Don't stop writing!