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  • paul m
    replied
    Hello Uni. It's been my experience that moss can grow on any side of the tree including all around the tree in a circle. I go in enough circles with out following the moss LOL. Take Care. paul m

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  • uni
    replied
    Thanks Paul and AJ. Glad to know I'm reducing the chance of getting lost -- or at least lost-er than I already am! I'm checking the moss on the sides of trees to see direction. I heard that works but it may be a rural legend. The moss is full of bugs but oh well
    Last edited by uni; May 23, 2019, 11:54 PM. Reason: apparently words need spaces between them

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  • AJ
    replied
    Having done a lot of hiking, I can tell you that being on a trail greatly reduces your chance of getting lost

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  • paul m
    replied
    Hello Uni. I hope that you can find the trail that leads out of the woods. Take Care. paul m

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  • uni
    replied
    I'm still having far too much awfulness, but am making progress in getting insight and some perspective. Got in to see my psychologist (expensive because now she's in private practice, but worth it to me at this point) and it helped me get "unstuck". So I'm journaling a lot, staying in close touch with supportive friends, and even doing some meditation. I need some inner calm in order to deal with the situation. At least I feel like I'm getting somewhere, which I didn't before. Not out of the woods, but at least on the trail....

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  • uni
    replied
    Sounds like you're onto something AJ!

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  • AJ
    replied
    I walk an hour and 15 to 30 mins with my dog every morning. Now that it's nice out, I spend hours outside doing yard work and other chores outside. It's way better then sitting in the house.

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  • uni
    replied
    I hear you AJ. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be like Mr. Spock and operate purely from logic, with no emotions!
    Are you still doing a lot of walking? I know it can help. However, this is a case of do as I say and not as I do I hope things calm down for you soon.

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  • AJ
    replied
    Hi Uni. It's not going. Relationship & extended family issues ... ugh. I'm doing a lot of walking. Thanks for asking.

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  • uni
    replied
    Well, yesterday I finally had a 4-tissue crying session. It helped. What set it off was listening to an old song. Afterward I felt sort of emptied out, like a bunch of awfulness left my body, that's the best way I can explain it. It was draining but a relief. I was even able to get back at some of my "recreational" writing (not journaling).

    Today I still feel somewhat physically less pent-up, although the unsettling thoughts still want to intrude. This will take a while, that's for sure.

    AJ, how did your writing go?

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  • uni
    replied
    Thank you AJ and Purgatory, I appreciate your responses; they help me feel a little better.

    AJ, I hope your writing is helpful!

    Purgatory, my heart goes out to you in your situation. I don't think your head is stupid, or either of us is stronger than the other. We are both still here, and in the game, so good for us!

    So far I'm not wild about this relationship break. I miss b/f and want to talk with him. I guess that's to be expected. Most days aren't great. However, I do have times of insight and do some journaling which does help. I'm leaning heavily on my support people (who probably deserve medals!) I have shed a few tears but not many. I seem to be holding quite a lot of emotions in physically and my stomach feels sick much of the time. However, I do have times of feeling angry, and sad, and even loving. Lonely is a big one, despite functioning (more or less) and distracting myself and interacting with people.

    I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this time. The main idea is to think about the relationship and my part in it, and hopefully come to some conclusion about how I'd like things to go. Right now I'm nothing but upset and emotional. I know it will pass, but I just needed to come on here and post about it. Thanks for reading.

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  • purgatory
    replied
    Uni I'm so sorry here are virtual hugs. Odd I'm in the same boat but dependent on him for shelter and he's quite harsh. Gotten to the point he even admits he wouldn't ignore clients, coworkers etc like he does me. Night before my bday he accesses me of something about being jealous of some client. I said excuse me? when and no took three hours mn. for him to reread it. I get apologies via email and I love you miss you but not verbally. He doesn't even notice or ask when I'm gone. I have to hold on but trying to save enough for a few months rents and near hosp and doctor for cheap cab when i'll no longer be able to drive. Spinal surgery didn't work out as they planned. If I hear the words trying and effort one more time. I have enough self hatred I give myself

    sorry my stupid head this is about you I was just trying to saying I totally understand given my event and how you are much stronger than I ,

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  • AJ
    replied
    You're welcome Uni. I'm doing my writing today.

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  • uni
    replied
    Thank you, Paul and AJ

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  • AJ
    replied
    Yes I'll second that Uni.

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