Hello,
I don't really know what to do and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm about to turn 19 (female) in a week and I have no idea what kind of job I want in the future. I'm in university, about to go into second year and I'm just declaring a random major since I really don't care what I do. My life is just made up of routines since I don't enjoy anything. I go to the gym every morning, but only because my brother forces me to, then I take a shower, then I go to school, I come home, and sleep. I gave up on socializing or making new friends in my class since it feels pointless. I put off meeting my friends from high school because I don't feel like I have the energy to go out. I tried sleeping 4 hours a day, 8 hours a day, even 14 hours a day and no matter what, I feel tired the whole day. When I search up my symptoms, it says that I may have depression. The thing is there really is no reason for me to be depressed (a supportive family, no traumatic event). I feel horrible because there are so many people that have it worse than I do, and here I am just disinterested in everything for absolutely no reason. The thing is, I used to have stuff I liked doing, like drawing and biking were my biggest hobbies when I was younger. I don't think I drew or even doodled in months. I stopped biking because at some point I got super self conscious of everything (I even feel awkward crossing the street because I feel like people in the cars are staring at me). At the gym I am constantly nervous (can't even run on the treadmill). I know people aren't focusing on me, yet I still feel self-conscious. I've always been mostly an introvert since elementary school, but I feel as though my nervousness is getting worse as time passes. At the same time, I lost interest in basically everything (even playing games or watching movies feels like a chore). I've never been a super positive person growing up so maybe this is just a part of my personality. I think I started losing interest 2 years ago, recently it got worse for no apparent reason. I don't actually cry, and I don't feel sad or happy. When I told my parents, they told me that everybody is like that, you just need to motivate yourself and be less lazy. I'm too scared to go to a walk-in clinic because what if there's actually nothing wrong with me, and I just end up embarrassing myself. (even posting anonymously on a forum makes me nervous)
I don't really know what to do and I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm about to turn 19 (female) in a week and I have no idea what kind of job I want in the future. I'm in university, about to go into second year and I'm just declaring a random major since I really don't care what I do. My life is just made up of routines since I don't enjoy anything. I go to the gym every morning, but only because my brother forces me to, then I take a shower, then I go to school, I come home, and sleep. I gave up on socializing or making new friends in my class since it feels pointless. I put off meeting my friends from high school because I don't feel like I have the energy to go out. I tried sleeping 4 hours a day, 8 hours a day, even 14 hours a day and no matter what, I feel tired the whole day. When I search up my symptoms, it says that I may have depression. The thing is there really is no reason for me to be depressed (a supportive family, no traumatic event). I feel horrible because there are so many people that have it worse than I do, and here I am just disinterested in everything for absolutely no reason. The thing is, I used to have stuff I liked doing, like drawing and biking were my biggest hobbies when I was younger. I don't think I drew or even doodled in months. I stopped biking because at some point I got super self conscious of everything (I even feel awkward crossing the street because I feel like people in the cars are staring at me). At the gym I am constantly nervous (can't even run on the treadmill). I know people aren't focusing on me, yet I still feel self-conscious. I've always been mostly an introvert since elementary school, but I feel as though my nervousness is getting worse as time passes. At the same time, I lost interest in basically everything (even playing games or watching movies feels like a chore). I've never been a super positive person growing up so maybe this is just a part of my personality. I think I started losing interest 2 years ago, recently it got worse for no apparent reason. I don't actually cry, and I don't feel sad or happy. When I told my parents, they told me that everybody is like that, you just need to motivate yourself and be less lazy. I'm too scared to go to a walk-in clinic because what if there's actually nothing wrong with me, and I just end up embarrassing myself. (even posting anonymously on a forum makes me nervous)
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