Depressed Spouse

[Lilibean]

Hello,

I am new to this forum. I am writing about my husband, who is depressed and I am not sure how to help him. We moved to Canada a few years ago from Europe (much warmer climate) for me to pursue my career. The change of climate is not helping and he can't get used to it. The problem is that he's hypochondriac and any little medical problem (cold, sore throat) makes him panic and makes him depressed.

He used to take paroxetine and it did wonders for him, but it caused some bad side effects (***ual side effects and also problems with his stomach - which is something that was particularly distressing to him). Now he is scared to try any new drug, and is not feeling well, mentally. Paroxetine was prescribed by our doctor in Europe so he doesn't have his doctor in Canada, and due to his bad experience with paxil, he distrusts doctors and medication. I don't know what to do or how to make him try. He says he has no will to live and it makes me distressed because I don't know what to do.

Do you perhaps have any advice here?

Although now that I write this, I think it might also be seasonal affective disorder, because he is very sensitive to weather/climate changes and his condition typically worsens in winter. You can imagine this being a problem in Canada, especially since he is not used to climate.

PS- We live in Alberta. Do you feel there are a bit warmer areas where we could move to feel less of this climate effect?

[AJ]

Welcome to the forum Lilibean. I’ve been in this country for many years now and I will never like the cold long winters. You do learn how to dress for them, and how to find ways to keep busy and stay active. Still, I’d be happy to skip that season.

The climate across Canada can be quite dramatically different. I would consider seeing a doc for an assessment before packing up the boxes. Weather can be a huge factor for some people, but there be other factors worth exploring as well.

[paul m]

Hello and welcome Lilibean. Unfortunately there is no way to force a person that they need help. Counselling may help, but it can get expensive in a hurry. Some therapist will work on a sliding scale according to your ability to pay. A Councillor may be able to convince him that some meds are worth taking. Also working with your pharmacist can help as a pharmacist can make suggestions about how to handle the side effects. Take Care. paul m

[Quito]

Hi Lilibean; I'm very late to respond to your post but I hope you pop back on here. I was born in Holland which has a climate similar to west coast Canada, rain because we're near the sea, lots of cloud but a few sunny days also. But nothing like winter temperatures in Canada, oh my goodness. What an adjustment for you and your husband. The Okanagon in British Columbia has lovely summers but their winters can also be overcast with clouds for long periods of time. The three cities in Canada with longest and coldest winter are Edmonton, Alberta, Regina, Saskatchewan and Winnipeg, Manitoba. So stay away from those if you're looking for a warmer climate. Southern Ontario is probably your best bet. During the fall and winter months, heat stored from the lakes is released, moderating the climate near the shores of the lakes. This makes some parts of southern Ontario have milder winters. I found this online: https://theculturetrip.com/north-ame...dorable-towns/

For your husband who suffers from depression and anxiety, I also had a very bad experience with Paxil. But he should not let that deter him from taking responsibility for his illness. If he is starting to lose the will to live, he needs to get treatment, whether it is medication or counselling. Speak to him firmly about that and let him know he alone is responsible for dealing with this illness. Sometimes a person can get into a bad habit of neglecting their physical or mental health. I wish you and your husband so much good luck in every aspect of your lives. xo

[Prycejosh1987]

Hello,

I am new to this forum. I am writing about my husband, who is depressed and I am not sure how to help him. We moved to Canada a few years ago from Europe (much warmer climate) for me to pursue my career. The change of climate is not helping and he can't get used to it. The problem is that he's hypochondriac and any little medical problem (cold, sore throat) makes him panic and makes him depressed.

He used to take paroxetine and it did wonders for him, but it caused some bad side effects (***ual side effects and also problems with his stomach - which is something that was particularly distressing to him). Now he is scared to try any new drug, and is not feeling well, mentally. Paroxetine was prescribed by our doctor in Europe so he doesn't have his doctor in Canada, and due to his bad experience with paxil, he distrusts doctors and medication. I don't know what to do or how to make him try. He says he has no will to live and it makes me distressed because I don't know what to do.

Do you perhaps have any advice here?

Moving to different places is not the answer. I guess as his wife you will need to be his "rock" to be a reassurance and be supportive as much as you can. Medication is half the battle the other half is what he does to assure himself of his insecurities and fight them.