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    Hi it's been awhile

    Hi, for those that have read my previous pathetic life story, yeah it keeps getting worse. I just don't understand the whys and ppl just ghosting or 'the family' wow knowing but now the proof that i wasn't exaggerating that I really wasn't loved by my parents or siblings from day one. I did everything I was supposed to do no matter what I was a single mom never went out during and even after the marriage. I was always there her jumping interacting and loved her completely, no matter what my mood and spine and the rest of the deteriorating bones. all her friends were always over they would say they preferred it. I ignored even the CAS worker the ex sicked on me (long other story), teachers, her court appointed lawyer my gut. The worker said to me with huge concerned for me saying that this kid in grade five. "you have a serious manipulating daughter' I had kept bringing her to various therapist but that didn't work out. My parents really bonded with her to the point of spending hundreds of dollars just on clothes, giving her money everyday, buying her apple laptops yes plural. I'm not dumb as I could see the box in the recycling . her answer was grandma said not to tell you. Giving her 10k when she was 18 No wonder I couldn't get her to do chores, respect all of a sudden. When she was 9 or 10 she would say 'why don't they (parents) ever hug or tell you they love you? they always do with me" then the 'you have to listen to ur parents when I stopped bying non essentials. Yeah that made me depression get better. There was money laundering via their bookkeeper, having me sign over my house right after brain surgery. there's more. I can't lie worth shit and have boxes of proof of receipts proving so many illegal CRA filings etc. This and more could be right up there with a Clancey (not sure of spelling of author). I always have third party proof. I've gone out of my way helping I thought were friends. It's not my mental illness that created all this. I was great at wearing the mask of 'im fine' I'm not any use to anyone I really am totally without support of any kind. I'm unlovable. this time I can't seem to pick up the pieces. I've used all the tools and more in the 'toolbox'. I had to be able to tell someone and this group over the many years have helped me not to feel so invisible and actually hear the words i'm saying. Thank you everyone who has read this.

    #2
    Hi Purgatory. I have no wise words of wisdom, only a virtual hug or two. Mostly I just want you to know you've been listened to and I care.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

    Comment


      #3
      Hello Purgatory. I also have no great words of wisdom. I did read your post and I can believe how tough life must be. I will also send some virtual hugs.Take Care. paul m
      "Alone we can do so little;
      Together we can do so much"
      Helen Keller

      Comment


        #4
        Virtual hugs here too Purgatory.

        May I ask, how did you come to choose Purgatory for your online name? I find this intriguing...

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by purgatory View Post
          Hi, for those that have read my previous pathetic life story, yeah it keeps getting worse. I just don't understand the whys and ppl just ghosting or 'the family' wow knowing but now the proof that i wasn't exaggerating that I really wasn't loved by my parents or siblings from day one. I did everything I was supposed to do no matter what I was a single mom never went out during and even after the marriage. I was always there her jumping interacting and loved her completely, no matter what my mood and spine and the rest of the deteriorating bones. all her friends were always over they would say they preferred it. I ignored even the CAS worker the ex sicked on me (long other story), teachers, her court appointed lawyer my gut. The worker said to me with huge concerned for me saying that this kid in grade five. "you have a serious manipulating daughter' I had kept bringing her to various therapist but that didn't work out. My parents really bonded with her to the point of spending hundreds of dollars just on clothes, giving her money everyday, buying her apple laptops yes plural. I'm not dumb as I could see the box in the recycling . her answer was grandma said not to tell you. Giving her 10k when she was 18 No wonder I couldn't get her to do chores, respect all of a sudden. When she was 9 or 10 she would say 'why don't they (parents) ever hug or tell you they love you? they always do with me" then the 'you have to listen to ur parents when I stopped bying non essentials. Yeah that made me depression get better. There was money laundering via their bookkeeper, having me sign over my house right after brain surgery. there's more. I can't lie worth shit and have boxes of proof of receipts proving so many illegal CRA filings etc. This and more could be right up there with a Clancey (not sure of spelling of author). I always have third party proof. I've gone out of my way helping I thought were friends. It's not my mental illness that created all this. I was great at wearing the mask of 'im fine' I'm not any use to anyone I really am totally without support of any kind. I'm unlovable. this time I can't seem to pick up the pieces. I've used all the tools and more in the 'toolbox'. I had to be able to tell someone and this group over the many years have helped me not to feel so invisible and actually hear the words i'm saying. Thank you everyone who has read this.
          The short answer is work on your relationships and get the support you deserve. You are lovable, even criminals and serial killers are loved people and even supported at times by family, so at least you are lovable.

          Comment


            #6
            Hi, Thank you for your kind words. Spondy 66 I chose purgatory because my life has been and as always been. May I ask why Spondy?

            Comment


              #7
              To Prynce Josh 1987 wow and thank you. Believe me when I say I'm unlovable it's pathetic and unbelieve proof from childhood on. You sound like a very wonderful person.

              Comment


                #8
                VERY VERY IMPORTANT READ

                Please read very important to anyone who has Mental Illness (or not if)

                MUST READ and be very very 'aware of' in terms of having less rights legally. the Mental Health Act (law), the everything about form 2 and how easy it gets signed by a High School graduate with no legal knowledge ie how to be a Justice of the Peace. OMG the list I saw at the Main Court house that the Justice of Peace list of matters that day was only FORM 2. If you could just include a quick read on Wiki the name Paul Crosgrove Judge who is BIL to 'the Uncle"

                I'm editing my experience someone who still held a Federal Government Secret Clearance, first traffic ticket at 48 yrs. I'm 51 yrs old. I still feel a punch to the gut and it was in 2017 or 18. I haven't looked at that for almost a year which is progress but how "I was even as a child difficult wouldn't obey etc' foundation of a person isn't something one can forget.

                Okay I've tried even editing this but very shameful and how I''m so unlovable. I just want to help everyone with Mental Illness understand loss of rights down to proving outright lying under Oath. thank you

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hello Purgatory. You bring up a good point. The mental health laws in Ontario are badly written. For example if you do not have a family doctor and you have to go to ER to renew a prescription for seroqul, or something similar, which can be very sedating, That doctor can have the province suspend your drivers license if he feels like it because it can be so sedating. Doesn't matter if you use the drug properly or not It take about 6 months and a doctor's help to get your license back not to mention it cost about $600. There are lots of other reasons that can make your life miserable when dealing with the mental health act...

                  I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. Take Care. paul m
                  "Alone we can do so little;
                  Together we can do so much"
                  Helen Keller

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I just wanted to say hi Purgatory.
                    AJ

                    Humans punish themselves endlessly
                    for not being what they believe they should be.
                    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

                    Comment

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