Hi there; just checking in since it's been a while. They say depression is cyclical and I think that's true for me. But also ... 2019 was very hard for me. I decided to leave two important relationships, one was a friend and the other my sister. I guess I could have decided to stay in the relationships but I would have had to give up too much self respect and I want to protect myself. It feels okay to let go and love someone from a distance. I tried Wellbutrin last summer but experienced adverse effects so now I'm not taking anything.
2020 is like the black cap of depression has lifted slightly. I feel freed from the intense emotional pain I had last year. I'm starting to believe in possibilities of making new friends and trying new things. Dam that pandemic .. it's messing with my plans. My gym closed and now we are working from home. Oh well. I still go for walks with one friend and text daily with a co-worker. I have a couple neighbors I really like. And I enjoy speaking with my sons and their lovely women. My one son Face-timed us the other day. And I visited my other son last weekend. Sweet little moments that remind me to be grateful despite my illness.
I only work four days per week now. It's called pre-retirment transition leave. If I count statutory holidays, weekends and paid vacation leave, I only have 317 actual working days left. Then I want to work somewhere else, something simple that doesn't take too much brain power. Or I may choose instead to volunteer somewhere a couple, three days a week. When I'm retired I may try medication again. In my experience, medication is a trial and error process that takes a long time and I can't do my job and deal with side effects.
I'm really grateful for this website and the support I've received. Wishing you all peace and strength during our social distancing days. Take care.
2020 is like the black cap of depression has lifted slightly. I feel freed from the intense emotional pain I had last year. I'm starting to believe in possibilities of making new friends and trying new things. Dam that pandemic .. it's messing with my plans. My gym closed and now we are working from home. Oh well. I still go for walks with one friend and text daily with a co-worker. I have a couple neighbors I really like. And I enjoy speaking with my sons and their lovely women. My one son Face-timed us the other day. And I visited my other son last weekend. Sweet little moments that remind me to be grateful despite my illness.
I only work four days per week now. It's called pre-retirment transition leave. If I count statutory holidays, weekends and paid vacation leave, I only have 317 actual working days left. Then I want to work somewhere else, something simple that doesn't take too much brain power. Or I may choose instead to volunteer somewhere a couple, three days a week. When I'm retired I may try medication again. In my experience, medication is a trial and error process that takes a long time and I can't do my job and deal with side effects.
I'm really grateful for this website and the support I've received. Wishing you all peace and strength during our social distancing days. Take care.
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