Anxious thought loops

[Hope126]

Hello.. it’s been months and months and I can’t get over a change I had in my life. I’d rather not get into the details but it was very difficult and I can’t just let it go. It’s affected my life so much and I’m not the person I used to be. I had a major life event 5 years ago and needed meds changed 2 or 3 times but finally found the right one. Recovered from the anxiety depression after 6 months. This one has been over a year. I know it takes time but I’m having so much difficulty getting through my days and can’t stop thinking about what happened because my life is so different right now because of it. I keep thinking about it and sometimes cry just at the thought of it. Other times my anxiety spikes (I have anxiety every morning) and then I cry because there’s my sign I’m not getting better. On 100 mg imipramine and 1 mg risperidone after med increase yesterday. I’m so tired of feeling ok for a little while then the wave of thoughts come in and I feel sad and cry. I’m tired of needing lorazepam to settle me down. I want nothing more than to get back to myself. I hope the med increase will work I have a very hard time coping with the anxiety and depressed feelings so often. Anyone experience this? Any tips or ideas.. I know I’m the only one who can work on myself to get better but I’m just at to the point I’ve gone through so many meds that didn’t work and I’ve only been on the new ones a little over a week. I just want to feel better mentally and emotionally and get back to myself

[uni]

Hugs to you Hope126 I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time for so long. It sounds like you've been doing a lot to try and get better. I agree that some things take a long time before seeing improvement - what seems like forever.

I'm wondering if you've explored talk therapy or counseling of any kind, as I don't think there's anything in your posts about it. Sometimes that's the missing part of the puzzle, enough to stay on your feet when going through med changes. It has helped me immensely, but of course not everyone has the same outcome. I hope you find that posting has some small therapeutic value too. I know it does for me.

[bucky310]

Hello Hope126 and welcome. I know you made a post earlier but I'll respond to this one as I can relate. I've had the repetitive negative thoughts that you elude to in the title of this thread. It's certainly not fun.

Something that helped me, and as uni mentioned, was therapy. Therapy helped immensely as I was able to work through my issues with a professional who was able to guide me through and validate what I was feeling. Not only that, they offered suggestions on how to deal with certain things such as anxiety. One of the best tips for my personal experience was this. When I got into one of those negative thought spirals, I would stop what I was doing, acknowledge the thoughts and give them their time of day. It sounds counter-intuitive. You just want these things to go away. But in my personal experience, turning towards them and saying "go ahead, do your worst", that robbed them of their power over me completely. It was known as "follow your NOSE" for Notice, Observe, Stay-with and Experience. So notice what is happening, observe what you feel like (is your heart racing, are you in a flop sweat, etc.), stay with (what I described earlier, stop what you're doing and let it go ahead, stay with it), and experience (basically an extension of stay with, just let it run its course and fully experience the feelings).

Now, this isn't to say that this will guaranteed help you. And please keep in mind I am not a doctor or a therapist. I'm just relating to you what helped me. I would whole-heartedly recommend you see a therapist to properly work through your issues. it's amazingly helpful.

That being said, I hope you feel better very soon. We're rooting for you over here

[Hope126]

Thanks to both of you for your kind replies. I have been to counselling with a mental health nurse for 8 weeks and currently talking with a psychotherapist. Week 4 of that. I like the nose reference. He did tell me something similar to that.. feel the feelings and go back to task. I’m just having such a hard time letting go of the changes that happened I ruminate and it bothers me every day. I can be in the middle of something like washing dishes or something and I will just start to cry. I will be doing some thing and feeling OK I feel OK then my mind says no you’re not. I feel like I’m failing. I’ve tried so many different meds and therapy etc I’m just scared I’m never going to get better. I take lorazepam every morning and often need it in the afternoon too. It’s never taken me this long to get back on track I just want to be myself again. I don’t want to fear things and just go on with life as it is now. Very different but I just want to get through one day without tears!!!

[uni]

Hi Hope126. I posted a reply in another thread, but want to say here that I'm glad you're doing what you can. I'm at the end of the tunnel waving a flashlight, maybe you can see it. As Bucky said, we're rooting for you!

[Prycejosh1987]

i am just at to the point I’ve gone through so many meds that didn’t work and I’ve only been on the new ones a little over a week. I just want to feel better mentally and emotionally and get back to myself

You can do these things but switching medications often is not good, give them time to work, and work on your personal self for mental success.