Time to Smarten Up

[Quito]

Hello all. I'm just dropping a note to update on my mental health. I've moved from my apartment to a little townhouse. Now that's behind me, I need to pay off some renovations. Floors, paint, some tile in the bathroom and a couple new closet doors.

I ate whatever I wanted the last month. My excuse was "moving is stressful" But now it's all done and 2023 is almost upon us. So I'm re-committing to Mediterranean diet.

I found out a nearby shopping mall allows seniors to walk before all the shops open which is great. I also applied on a couple jobs. A friend is coming for coffee today so that's nice. All in all, I'm bumping along. On a bad day, I might get mired in a trench accusing myself of all the ways I don't measure up. On a good day, when I don't eat sugar, I can think more positively about myself.

I know Christmas is hard for a lot of us, so I'm sending kind thoughts your way .. and my way .. that we can be who we are, accept who we are and that's okay. We don't have to sing bloody Christmas's carols if we don't want

[AJ]

Hi Quito, nice to hear from you.

I think moving is stressful, but it sounds like youre through the worst of it.

Good luck with the job applications. Enjoy your coffee with a friend.

I got a chuckle out of your comment

We don't have to sing bloody Christmas's carols if we don't want

[uni]

Congratulations Quito on the changes you have made and continue to make! I find your words very uplifting Progress is progress, doesn't have to be perfect.

I hope you enjoy fixing up your new home, and eating the yummy Mediterranean food. And thanks for the reminder about walking in a mall, it's something I forget is an option. Mind you it probably involves Christmas music this time of year....

[Quito]

lol ya that Christmas music is everywhere. Some days I don't mind it.

Hit a tough spot tonight. The cats kept me up with their rambunctious playing from midnight to 3 am. I finally closed my bedroom door and that gave them the hint. Now they're sleeping and I'm still up.

I looked at some social media and promptly shed tears when I saw how fun my brothers lives are. One cycling in Arizona and the other off to Spain. While I sit at home alone, hoping I'll find a job soon to pay off reno's.

I feel frozen in my life, in my mind. I did make a jaunt to northern California last August but my brothers do way more. I know. I know. Don't compare. But sometimes it's hard being the family f*k up incapable of having a successful long term relationship and therefore unable to do as much financially. Poor me pity party over here. When really I should be so proud that in my first year of retirement I finished my novel, went on a trip and bought a townhouse.

There is always gonna be some who have way more and some who have way less. My focus needs to be on what I can control. Not on what I can't. Depression is that black cap that tightens its grip and then let's go. Tomorrow ... and after some sleep ... will be better.

[Mocha231]

Hi Quinto,

I hope your move went well and that you were able to unpack most of your items. Sounds like you are off to a fresh start for 2023. I am actually on the same path. I remember when I moved into my townhouse it was so chaotic yet exciting. I was young and I didn't prepare anything in advance. So there I was throwing my belongings into garbage bags while the movers were trying to collect all of it. I also gave some items away that I no longer needed. It is worth looking into the available community resources to see if they can provide you with some job assistance support. I wish you all the best on this new endeavor in your life.

Mocha231

[Quito]

Aw thanks Mocha! The move is all behind me. Now I just need to trap some laughter in these walls to feel at home. It's coming along. hee hee I hear you about garbage bags. Thankfully, I've moved so often, this one felt like the easiest.

[uni]

Quito, I hear you. Sometimes I look at others' lives and think "boy have I messed up - if only I had/hadn't done this/that, etc..". Some days that's where my head wants to go.

I agree that depression "tightens that black cap". I also think people underestimate the amount of patience involved in living with depression, waiting for the worst of it to pass and hoping tomorrow is better.

I wish you some laughter within your walls before too long!

[Quito]

Thank you (((Uni)))