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    #1

    Where to start

    Hope everyone is well. Long time no see.

    Well, I'm feeling stressed lately. Today I woke up feeling awful after eating something that disagreed with me last night. Gassy, acid reflux, general nausea. Which is causing my depression / anxiety to come around. Was supposed to attend an event today but I have decided against doing so. This has caused me to get upset even more because I'm making myself think I'm letting people down by not going. I think it has to do with growing up and being the youngest. Being expected to go along with everything regardless of how I feel.

    Now I'm trying to ride out this acid reflux without taking something for it because I've already taken something for nausea.

    Work is stressful too. Generally being judged for doing a poor job at every turn it seems, but the numbers / stats show me doing an excellent job. It's frustrating when people go off of perception instead of reality / numbers to guide their feelings about how someone is doing. I'm just sick and tired of being judged when I'm doing my best and it is provably working.

    I am in that negative spiral and trying to tell myself it's okay to feel this way. I know really that I'll be fine. Even if I end up getting sick, I'll be fine. I don't want to get sick but if I do, it'll be okay.

    Anyway, I'm just tired of feeling bad. Tired of feeling stressed. Tired of making my wife feel like she needs to help me.

    I just want to be better.

    Hope you are all doing well.

    Take care.
    Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
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    #2
    Hi Bucky,

    Thanks for sharing! I am sure many on here can relate to much of what you wrote - I know I definitely can to some parts for sure.

    You seem to be working at putting things in perspective and accepting that it is totally ok to have some down days and moments - I have to do this often as well!

    I am curious what type of supports you have in place for when you have those days and moments. Do you have any supports in addition to your wife?

    "The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering." ~ Ben Okri ~

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      #3
      Of course. Family, friends, etc. I go to therapy once every month and half or so too. So I'll definitely be talking about this for my next appointment.

      Thankfully I'm feeling much better today. I was sad to not be in attendance at my event, felt like I was letting people down. But I know they will be understanding. It isn't often anymore that I get like that and cannot attend due to illness.

      Today was a different challenge. Work became a big issue. But I will no longer be stressed by what I was stressed by before. So that's a plus. Just new challenges to overcome.

      Take care all.
      Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

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        #4
        Hi Bucky,

        Thanks for sharing! Glad to hear you have a lot of supports in place that help you through the bumpy patches!
        "The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering." ~ Ben Okri ~

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          #5
          Hi Bucky, and thanks for posting. I haven't been on the forum too much lately so am late in replying.

          "Tired of feeling bad, tired of feeling stressed" you say, and I can relate. Hopefully your situation has improved at least somewhat. It sounds to me like you're pretty aware of where your feelings are at, and that counts for a lot. Sometimes just expressing thoughts and feelings is a help, so I'm glad you came on to the forum.

          "New challenges to overcome", you can say that again. Every day, it seems. I think we belong to the same club Today my challenges involved technology and banking and phone calls to bureaucracies. Yuck. But I sorted most of them out, except one that has to wait until tomorrow.

          Anyway it's good to know there are others who deal with anxiety and depression. The afflictions don't just disappear because we've had help with them, they pop up again. I attend a drop-in zoom group once in a while to remind myself of that. It's run by the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario. I'm not from Ontario but they let me in, no problem. I used to come to this forum first, but it has grown very quiet although I still find it worthwhile checking in. I like to post on the "One good thing" thread in The Sandbox section. It's a good little practice in staying connected and maybe even encouraging others as well as myself.

          I hope you're feeling better with your physical issues as well as the anxiety/depression. Take care.

          uni

          ~ it's always worth it ~

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