Life is unfair

[Jafar the wizard]

Life is already unfair .. but can you please stop trying to make it even more unfair ? ..
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Life is unfair but trying to make it a better life is not a crime ..
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Life is unfair but that doesn't justify allowing yourself to hurt others ..
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Life is not fair but people around us are only one part of our lives .. and this part wants us to believe that they're a very important part of it ..
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Life is unfair in a random way .. but life is not BIASED .. people are ..
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Telling us that " life is unfair " is just another way to twist the truth and manipulate it .. it's a fact that is being abused to justify selfish choices and selfish actions ..
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I'm accepting my life .. I'm accepting the fact that I have a mental disorder and I'm learning how to live with it .. but I have the right to make some improvements in my life ..
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I'm just struggling to shorten the duration of a depressive episode I'm experiencing recently but it's taking longer than I expected .. and it's hard to ignore the fact that my depression was triggered by other people's selfishness..
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[Hazelcat]

You're so right, Jafar, and I'm sorry you suffered due to others' selfishness. Please feel free to talk more about that if you wish to.

The problem with these blanket statements like "Life is Unfair" and "Everyone has Problems" is that while they are true as broad generalizations... It is absolutely NOT TRUE that everyone faces an equal amount of unfairness, or that everyone has an equal number or severity of problems (especially at a particular point in time).

And these statements CAN be used to 1) Justify unfair treatment, 2) Dismiss the concerns of people with legitimate complaints 3) Ignore the suffering of others and 4) Blame victims.

I am personally experiencing "compassion fatigue" due to currently being in school and broke. I can't contribute to the causes I normally make regular donations to. But I remind myself that at least I can be kind, volunteer a few hours a week, and at least offer verbal support to others.

People forget that even though they may have many problems and the cost of living is high, they can still "afford" to be kind to others. And civility should be the bare minimum.

[RunningKnitter]

Hi Jafar,

I am glad you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts here! I am curious if you also have a therapist or other supports where you can share these types of feelings as well.

[Jafar the wizard]

Thanks , Hazelcat for reading and commenting ..
Blaming others for our pains and sorrow is not the best way to express ourselves .. I hate doing this because I know very well that I've already experienced an uncountable number of depressive episodes all my life .. and it's not somebody else's mistake that I experience them .. it's just a mental issue ..
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However , those ( others ) can sometimes add insult to Injury and make things worse for us .. and writing about it can help me understand situations I've been through .. I don't publish everything I write but I felt that I need to share this one because it can happen to anyone of us and it is about a ( common fallacy ) or a ( blanket statement ) we hear others make frequently ..

[Jafar the wizard]

Hi Runningknitter ..
I don't have a therapist to visit and talk .. but I have a psychiatrist that I visit twice every year and his main role is to sign and approve a refill of my prescription ..
I'm already feeling better today and I'll be back to my routines tomorrow ..
Thanks ..

[RunningKnitter]

Hi Jafar,

I am glad you are starting to feel better! That is good to hear.

[Mocha231]

Hi Jafar,

I was wondering if you thought about joining a support group? They offer both virtual and in person groups now and this way you would have others to speak with more often. It’s also a great way to meet others and increase your social circle.

mocha231

[Hazelcat]

Thanks , Hazelcat for reading and commenting ..
Blaming others for our pains and sorrow is not the best way to express ourselves .. I hate doing this because I know very well that I've already experienced an uncountable number of depressive episodes all my life .. and it's not somebody else's mistake that I experience them .. it's just a mental issue ..
..
However , those ( others ) can sometimes add insult to Injury and make things worse for us .. and writing about it can help me understand situations I've been through .. I don't publish everything I write but I felt that I need to share this one because it can happen to anyone of us and it is about a ( common fallacy ) or a ( blanket statement ) we hear others make frequently ..

I actually didn't perceive you as blaming others for your pain and sorrow. What you seemed to be saying is that others' behaviour and attitudes can contribute -- and I agree.

I also perceived your post as venting about these things and I'm sure everyone here can relate. Others in the world may not intentionally be dismissive but that's how it can come across. Hugs to you.

[uni]

Jafar, I somehow missed seeing this thread. I'm so glad you shared, and can relate to a lot of the posts here. I hope things are starting to look up for you.