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    Food Ongoing

    It's been quite a while since I posted about food and related issues, so I figure it's about time. Interesting things have been happening for me. I'm learning that, left to their own devices, my body and my appetite instinctively know what's best. Who knew? I guess I had totally lost any trust in them, and felt they were becoming the enemy. Which of course made me very scared. Now I am not so scared.

    Here's what happened. I went traveling. I hadn't felt so good in years. I got involved in some interesting activities which involved lots of walking and daily physical use of my body. I spent time among active, interesting people with whom I ate, drank, and was merry. The weather suited me. I was tired at the end of the day, I slept pretty well most nights, and I woke up wanting breakfast. I ate regular, nourishing meals. I enjoyed treats - in moderation. And the amazing part was, I didn't even have to really think about it, I just did it.

    Now, fast forward to today. I am back to eating out of loneliness and boredom. I'm not sleeping too badly, but not too well either. I stay up late and sleep in the next day. I'm back to hanging around inactive people (mainly my loved ones, bless their sedentary hearts) who don't encourage physical activity and like to eat out a lot and snack in between. I feel like we have the same conversations over and over, and do the same things over and over. And as enjoyable as those conversations and things might be, they are getting old. And I feel sort of sad about it.

    But I know - have been reminded - that I still have it in me to be happily, non-anxiously, healthy. Given the right conditions (some of which must be arranged by me), I can eat and exercise in a workable, non-compulsive way. I can enjoy the company of others without major anxiety. I have it in me to come up with fun and interesting things to talk about and do, some of which hopefully will appeal to those around me too, and we can do them together. Depression robbed me of so much of that over the years. More than I realized.

    I used to have my very own life, Uni's life. Then slowly, over time, I lost it. I got about as depressed as a person can get and still not kill themselves. Then I cried, literally, for help from whoever would listen. Very, very slowly I began to get better, leaning heavily on others at first. Over time, I gradually learned to walk again emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I still trip and fall regularly, but even so I feel able to help others to walk again if they ask me to. Which helps me as much, or more, as them. I believe we are all in this together. But I'm digressing...

    When it comes to my current situation, I'm well aware that holidays away are not the same as daily life. However, why can't I borrow some of my holiday behaviours and use them now that I'm back home? That's what I plan to do - although at the moment I'm not sure what that entails. In any case, I'll sort it out. It just feels good to know that there are things I can do.

    I'm having trouble finding the right words to explain myself here. I guess I just want to share that good things and good feelings do sometimes happen. Uni's life, my very own life, is growing....
    uni

    ~ it's always worth it ~

    #2
    Hi Uni,

    That is great to hear that you have found a correlation between your recent lifestyle and feeling good about eating. I can also relate in that when my mood is good and I feel productive and happy in life, my eating is much better (although I tend to lose weight when I am depressed). I have spent probably close to 1/3 of my life being underweight in an unhealthy way. But when I'm hanging out with active and fit friends and when I was able to train hard for competitive athletics, it was easier to maintain a healthy weight and to be motivated to eat well to support my active lifestyle. I still haven't figured out a fool proof way of how to keep a healthy weight when my mood is down. Sometimes I can manage it but other times it is harder.

    I wish you continued luck with your eating!

    astronaut

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by uni View Post
      I used to have my very own life, Uni's life. Then slowly, over time, I lost it. I got about as depressed as a person can get and still not kill themselves. Then I cried, literally, for help from whoever would listen. Very, very slowly I began to get better, leaning heavily on others at first. Over time, I gradually learned to walk again emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I still trip and fall regularly, but even so I feel able to help others to walk again if they ask me to. Which helps me as much, or more, as them. I believe we are all in this together.
      I'm having trouble finding the right words to explain myself here. I guess I just want to share that good things and good feelings do sometimes happen. Uni's life, my very own life, is growing....
      You know that light everyone here tells me is at the end of the tunnel? Thanks for turning it on for a few minutes.

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        #4
        Good stuff Uni. Keep it up! Yes, that light. I think I have been catching glimpses of it here and there
        Last edited by Determined; August 3, 2012, 02:19 PM.

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          #5
          Hello Uni. Thx for sharing. Sharing helps us all learn. Thx again. Take Care. paul m
          "Alone we can do so little;
          Together we can do so much"
          Helen Keller

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            #6
            I remember when it really first hit me, I just gained and gained of course being who I was married with meant no activities and lots of junk and take out, but after I was released from the ward and stayed with my parents I went back to what I use to eat, everything from scratch not processed and lots of vegs etc. I was starting to walk a few mins more everyday and actually breakfast and many little meals, I listened to my body and what felt good and such small portions. Helps the mood. One of the 'symptoms" I get before the next meeting with the black dog is craving white startch and sugar, then I know stock up in season fruit to not add to the inevitable fall. You really word it well paul m.

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              #7
              Thank you for the positive comments . This physical health stuff is certainly not a walk in the park, and I'm pretty unhappy with my habits right now, but it truly is nice to have company in this. Purgatory, that's interesting about craving starch and sugar before becoming depressed. Makes me think.
              uni

              ~ it's always worth it ~

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