How to protect my family

[PJane92]

Hi everyone,


first off, sorry for my poor english as it isn't my first language.

as I have mentioned in one of my previous threads, I am going to self-disclose about my disorder publicly (media, online, etc). I've been asked by multiple organizations to be a sort of "spokesperson" for them and to share my story in the form of a testimonial. I've spoke with my parents about this, and their major concern is how I am going to protect the family from any backlash that might occur from this. Has anyone else been in this situation? If yes, how did you manage to protect your family?
Because not everyone in my family wants to be on the spotlight.

Thank you.

[paul m]

Hello PJ92. What I write below is not a criticism. I wish more people would come out and admit that they have a mental illness. I do a lot of volunteer work for a number of mental health organizations and I've seen some really good results when someone comes out and some really tragic ones.

In regards to backlash. You may have no backlash or there may be a lot of backlash from some very surprising places. However that is the chance that you take when you come out. To minimize the back lash , make sure that you inform everybody who is close to you before you go public. Try not to openly criticize anyone. Some of your Doctor's may have been incompetent, but it's better to say that the medical profession had problems finding out what was wrong with you.

I can't speak about your experiences, but I find that unless you are someone famous, have a Doctoral degree of some kind, are a high ranking official in some organization or have a special contact with the media, then it is very hard to get noticed.

I'm pretty open about my life. It has involved separation, huge financial problems, a ruined career, problems with the police and arrests,suicide attempts, not to mention a lot of pain and agony. More or less what 1000's of other people have gone through But because I'm Joe Nobody( and that is not a complaint) the media just isn't all that interested in me.

On the other hand, when someone famous comes out and advises that they have bipolar or another mental illness, then it hits facebook, twitter and the main stream news, sometimes for days.

I get mentioned in the news a fair bit for an ordinary guy, but unless I win an Olympic gold medal nobody is going to rush to publicize my story, unless it's in a small town paper or cable TV station. Even at that, I usually have to have done something unusual, win an award, hand out an award, attend a special course or teach a special course etc, just getting better doesn't seem to matter with the media, or at least not for long.

It's pretty competitive out there with literally millions of blogs being written on "My Mental Illness" and it seems like hundreds of people competing to speak at conventions, conferences etc.

So if you want to come out, do so. Just remember that once you are out, you can't go back in and all of those testimonials and interest by the media may be very quick to die away. When that interest dies away, if it ever gets started, then all you may be left with is a lot of people knowing that you have a mental illness.

So while I would like more people to come forward and say that they have a mental illness, I want them to do so realizing all of the facts. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m

P.S. it was pretty easy for me to make the choice to come out. A headline in the local news saying "Local man arrested for ....." and then later the Judge saying" Taking into account paul m's bouts with bipolar I'm not going to be as severe with sentencing as I might have been" or words to that effect . So for me , I didn't have a choice, but I should have warned those close to me that there might be several headlines coming up. It was tough on those that it caught by surprise.

[PJane92]

Hi Paul,

no worries, I do not take this as criticism. Can I PM you?

[paul m]

Hello PJane92. I sent a reply to your private message. Just so that you (and others )know, anyone can PM me at anytime. Some people send me a PM because they have a personal problem that they do not want to discuss on the net others send me a PM to ask specific items that I might know about and a few of us have became friends by way of PM's Take Care. Paul M

P.S.to Everyone PMs to moderators (AJ and I) can also be used to send in a compliant about a post or to ask a question about how to down load a picture etc.

[PJane92]

I just replied back to it with more details because there seems to be a misunderstanding. However, it seems like i cannot see my message in my "sent" folder. Is there a reason for that? I tried to send my message multiple times...I don't know if you received it.

[paul m]

HelloPJane. I got all three, I'm unsure why you can't see your sent messages. Perhaps if you try them now they will have showed up. If you have more than 50 messages total in your sent and received, it may not record a message.

If you are still,having problems, ask AJ to intervene. AJ knows much more than I do. Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

Hi PJane. If you're still having problems seeing messages in your sent folder, PM me. I might be able to help, or if not taking it to those who can.

When you create a new message check and see if the option to save a copy in Sent folder (at bottom of New Message page) is checked.

[paul m]

Hello PJane. I got your latest messages and I have sent a reply. If you didn't get my reply, please let AJ know. Take Care. paul m

[PJane92]

I have received them. Thanks

[Manny]

Hi Paul M, You are a great work in this time. I am also wants to help people. You are a good human being personality. Your Way to personal talk in personal massage.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forums Manny.

[paul m]

Hello Manny and welcome to the forum. If you want to try and private message me you just have to click on my name and that should bring up my profile and you should see a place where you can send a private message. However you may have to enable private messages first.

To do this click on the place marked FAQ near the top of this page or private messaging and follow the links to the place where it allows you to set whether or not you want to send and accept private messages.

In the meantime please feel free to ask questions , answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out some of life's many frustrations. Take Care.paul m

[PJane92]

Hello,

I forgot to gave you guys an updated on this. I disclosed my disorder publicly last year. I am now regularly asked to speak at conferences, radio shows, etc. I have also won awards, prizes and scholarships following my decision to speak publicly. The amount of support I have received is incredible, from my friends, teachers, family, etc. And instead of being judgemental, people approach me saying that they have experienced similar things in their own lives or someone close to them did most of the time. I have no regret about my decision and wouldn't go back. I did the right thing for me.

Thank you all for your support.

[paul m]

Hello PJane92. I'm glad that everything worked out for you. I'm sure that you are making a fine spokesperson. Take Care. paul m

[uni]

PJane92 that is fantastic! Congratulations What you are doing takes a lot of courage. I'm sure you're a help to many people you know, and many you don't know. I'd love to hear you speak sometime. Unfortunately I live where not much goes on in the way of TED or any other talks