Hi everyone,
I'm new here, and I thank everyone in advance for helping me through one of the most difficult moments of my life with any advice or kind words they can offer. I'm 21, and I've been dating my 25 year old bipolar boyfriend for 2 years now. About 4 months into our relationship, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after an attempt on his life. He is now on lithium and a couple of antidepressants. Since then, he had been on the "down" phase, and relied on me for support, which I was always able and willing to give him. Since January of this year, his mood started swinging up. Now he barely talks to me, and when he does, it's very cold and abrupt. He doesn't want to spend much time with me, he snaps at me very easily, and he has told me several times that he just doesn't "care about anything anymore", including me. I know this is very common bipolar attitude, but I really need some advice. We went from talking throughout the day, every day, to barely saying anything at all each day. It's important to me to talk every day, but it doesn't feel at all like him anymore. He can barely say he loves me anymore, and had a time when he wouldn't say it to me at all. At one point, he told me he just doesn't know about me anymore, and I decided it seemed he didn't love me anymore, so we broke it off, which lasted a whole 3 days of not talking before he called me drunk and in tears begging me to see him. Of course I went back because I'm madly in love with him, and only left in the first place because I thought he was trying to let me down easy by getting me to end things. After that (which was about a week and a half ago), the few days after were good. I saw him a couple times, and he was very affectionate. I thought maybe things would be better, but after those few days, he went back to the way he was acting before. Not talking, very snappy and rude at times, and acting like he doesn't love me at all. In fact, yesterday was our two year anniversary, and he didn't talk to me at all. Just ignored me the whole day. It was torture. I struggle with depression and anxiety which fuels the bad thoughts, but I still love him madly, and I want this to work more than ever. What should I do? He's told me that he needs time for this to pass, but I seem to be really struggling with giving him that time. Any advice on that? Also, am I wrong to think that if this pattern will be our life together from time to time, I shouldn't have to let him cut himself off from me every time it happens until it passes? Is there not a way for us to work on it together, or should I just back off? I'm open to tough truth, just lay it out for me because I would love to learn and be helpful for him instead of plain annoying.
Thanks again,
C.
I'm new here, and I thank everyone in advance for helping me through one of the most difficult moments of my life with any advice or kind words they can offer. I'm 21, and I've been dating my 25 year old bipolar boyfriend for 2 years now. About 4 months into our relationship, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after an attempt on his life. He is now on lithium and a couple of antidepressants. Since then, he had been on the "down" phase, and relied on me for support, which I was always able and willing to give him. Since January of this year, his mood started swinging up. Now he barely talks to me, and when he does, it's very cold and abrupt. He doesn't want to spend much time with me, he snaps at me very easily, and he has told me several times that he just doesn't "care about anything anymore", including me. I know this is very common bipolar attitude, but I really need some advice. We went from talking throughout the day, every day, to barely saying anything at all each day. It's important to me to talk every day, but it doesn't feel at all like him anymore. He can barely say he loves me anymore, and had a time when he wouldn't say it to me at all. At one point, he told me he just doesn't know about me anymore, and I decided it seemed he didn't love me anymore, so we broke it off, which lasted a whole 3 days of not talking before he called me drunk and in tears begging me to see him. Of course I went back because I'm madly in love with him, and only left in the first place because I thought he was trying to let me down easy by getting me to end things. After that (which was about a week and a half ago), the few days after were good. I saw him a couple times, and he was very affectionate. I thought maybe things would be better, but after those few days, he went back to the way he was acting before. Not talking, very snappy and rude at times, and acting like he doesn't love me at all. In fact, yesterday was our two year anniversary, and he didn't talk to me at all. Just ignored me the whole day. It was torture. I struggle with depression and anxiety which fuels the bad thoughts, but I still love him madly, and I want this to work more than ever. What should I do? He's told me that he needs time for this to pass, but I seem to be really struggling with giving him that time. Any advice on that? Also, am I wrong to think that if this pattern will be our life together from time to time, I shouldn't have to let him cut himself off from me every time it happens until it passes? Is there not a way for us to work on it together, or should I just back off? I'm open to tough truth, just lay it out for me because I would love to learn and be helpful for him instead of plain annoying.
Thanks again,
C.
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