Single, living with BPD and considering adopting a child

[PJane92]

Hello everyone,

Here I am, back here after a little while without posting. I would appreciate having advice, experiences, perspectives on my project of adopting a child. I would also appreciate having the insight of someone who has worked for youth protection services in Canada.

I am almost 24 years old. I am an undergraduate university student in social intervention but I have worked in the field in many different settings. It’s been a little while that I have started thinking about starting a family. However, I do not have a partner ; I am single. I know that it is possible for single individuals to adopt or to start a family without having a partner (at least in my province, I saw that it is doable). I know it won’t be easy but I come from a family of five, raised by a single mother for most of our lives and I am the oldest of my siblings. I have seen a lot but it doesn’t scare me. I know what it all entails and I know that I have strength and energy for it.

I am completing my degree this year and am applying to grad school in a couple of months. After that, I don’t know where I will be in my life. Will I want to pursue a doctorate or is my wish to have children be stronger ? Who knows. Here in my province, I have been told that it takes up to 8 years in order to have « access » to your adopted child. I am ready to wait the amount of time that i twill take. I know I won’t have an « ideal » child as well but rather, a child that has already been negatively impacted in their life very early on. And that can play out in many different ways. But for having worked with all kinds of families, I am ready for that as well.

I also live with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed at the end of my teenage years. I have been in recovery ever since and I keep on doing better and better. I work part-time, go to school full-time, am actively involved in my community and have won multiple awards, prizes and scholarships for my community involvement and extracurricular activities. I even give talks on mental health. I am very functional. I see my psychiatrist once a year, I take my pills as prescribed ever since I got diagnosed with my disorder.

My fear is that I have heard stories of people who have been automatically denied the possibility of adopting a child due to a psychiatric disorder regardless of if they have been in recovery or not. In my sense, this is pure discrimination. I am afraid of experiencing that kind of situation but I am ready to fight in the media and in court if I feel that I was wronged. I do feel that my past life experience gives me great tools to raise a child instead of the opposite. I see it as a strength.

I have contacted the youth protection services in a very neutral manner to ask them a little bit more about the whole process and explained to them that I have experienced mental health struggles when I was under 18 but that the situation has been in control for more than half a decade now. I am not expecting to have a child right after the end of my studies, I want to finish up school and settle down in my own space before considering having the optimal conditions to have a child on my own.

I was wondering if someone here had gone through that process in their respective province and if they could give me some hints or advice.
Thank you,

[PJane92]

I forgot to mention that I have no intention of hiding my condition to youth protection services and that I can provide the medical proof that I have been in recovery and that I am capable of raising a child.

[paul m]

Hello PJane92. I've never been through the process, but I have family and friends who have and they all found the process frustrating, although some were successful. None had bipolar, but some did have a history of depression and/or anxiety. None adopted new borns, but adopted either foreign children or children with handicaps. Perhaps someone else here has better information.

I can't say what it's like in Quebec, but in Ontario the process just to get approved to become qualified to adopt is a long one. To get approved as a potential parent takes from 1-2 yrs and after that the wait begins to actually adopt. In Ontario in addition to police and reference cks they will require a medical form to be completed by your doctor and a report from any specialist that you have seen in the last 5 yrs (whether it was for mental or physical reasons doesn't matter). As well they require a complete home and financial report. You also must must have 4-6 interviews over 6-8mths some of which will be in your home.

In Quebec, you also have to under go a psychosocial complacence assessment (what ever that is), for more http://www.centrejeunessemonteregie....uebec/proceed/ . I also noticed that , like Ontario , you have to attend one of their information nights before you can even start the process. One of their info nights may give you a lot of facts about adopting.

I looked at a variety of sites and I could not find any info on what minimum income required to adopt would be. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m

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