Mother feels helpless to support daughter

[phoenix1]

My young adult daughter is on anti-psychotics, newly released from hospital. No diagnosis yet but they suspect bipolar. She has struggled with anxiety and depression for 10+ years but was doing well and tapered off her anti-depressants 3 months ago - then this happened. She has been referred to a team for youth in first episode psychosis, hopefully she will be seen soon. I am always on edge now and emotionally drained but trying to stay strong for my whole family - who are all devastated. Tips from those who have been through this appreciated.

[Debbs]

Hi pheonix1.
Sorry to hear to hear you are having a hard time. There is nothing I can say that will make things better but I will say it gets a little easier as you learn to deal with it.
My son is 26. He is bipolar with anxiety, depression & adhd. It has been a long road as I'm sure you know. My lowest moment was last December when I almost lost him to suicide but we made it thru. He is doing ok now but I worry all the time. He is now only 15 mins drive from me instead of 2 hours so I feel easier.
The one thing that I have learnt over the years is that I cannot control what happens or his choices. I spent a LONG time trying to fix everything & him but you can't fix mental illness you just have to find a way to live with it. I had to come to terms with that which was not easy. As a Mum I just wanna make everything ok but all I can do is to make sure he knows i am there for him no matter what & that i love him. I worry about him constantly but I also hope that as he grows & makes peace with his illness he will find some happiness and meet someone that deserves him.
Everyones situation is different but that's how I live with the fear but it's not easy. As I said it's been a very long road & there still isn't a day when at some point I get that familiar knot in my stomach but i choose to believe that he will find peace & happiness in his life at some point.
I also have a 23yr old that suffers with anxiety & panic attacks that still lives at home with me.
No matter how hard it gets sometimes I cannot imagine my life without my boys.
I hope that just reading this you know you are not alone. When I joined this forum the most important thing to me was realising that its not just me & that i am not quite as alone as i feel with it all.
I hope this forum helps you a little too xx

[paul m]

Hello Phoenix1 and welcome. I too have a son with bipolar (I do too).. I know just how hard it is too deal with the illness and what often is a lack of support. Not just for your loved one, but support for you too. The MDAO has a guide that contains some helpful hints. https://mooddisorders.ca/guide/guide...-mood-disorder ..

Some times you have to be a bit pushy to get the help that they need. The system often breaks down and lets people slip thru the cracks. Don't hesitate to contact the people involved in the treatment of your daughter to try and nail down a time frame when they will see her. Take Care. paul m

[AJ]

Hi Phoenix1. I don't have anything to add to what Debbs and Paul have said, I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. I'm glad you found us.

[phoenix1]

Thank you everybody for your kind thoughts and sharing.

Hello Phoenix1 and welcome. I too have a son with bipolar (I do too).. I know just how hard it is too deal with the illness and what often is a lack of support. Not just for your loved one, but support for you too. The MDAO has a guide that contains some helpful hints. https://mooddisorders.ca/guide/guide...-mood-disorder ..

Some times you have to be a bit pushy to get the help that they need. The system often breaks down and lets people slip thru the cracks. Don't hesitate to contact the people involved in the treatment of your daughter to try and nail down a time frame when they will see her. Take Care. paul m

My daughter pushed me out of her life when her symptoms began 10 years ago. I was told not to interfere, to give her space... Now she won't have me involved in any way in her treatment and she blows up at me if I even send her information. So I am forced to stand back. I am terrified the system will let her down but since she is an adult with rights I am not privy to her treatment plan except what she choses to tell me. This means she would have be deemed incapable of making her own decisions - which is waiting for the worst to happen. There are more complications in this situation but you get the drift. I have to walk on eggshells around her. Before she got the psychosis she had stopped the medications and her old personality returned, albeit briefly, and she wanted to resume our relationship. I have to say the pills have something to do with this but she has to take them. I can only stand by helplessly and pray for her.

[Kaight]

Hi phoenix1, I am sorry you are in this situation with your daughter. I am glad you found us here and hope to hear from you some more.

(((Hugs))) Kaight

[Suepeg]

Hi Phoenix1, my daughter is so much better, when not taking pills. I encourage her to get more sleep, take vitamins and eat healthy. I am still working on helping her getting a routine, so one day she can get a job and move it, which she really wants, she has been forced to take pills for many years and forced into hospital, which never helped, but made her worse

when she is manic, it try to be calm and answer her very simply, as to not get her upset
Susan

[AJ]

Welcome to the forums Suepeg.