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Worries about adult step-daughter

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    Worries about adult step-daughter

    Hi all! Really interested to hear people's experiences about this. I have an adult step-daughter in her mid-twenties. I am very concerned about her mental health and emotional well-being and have been for years. She struggles with significant anxiety and addiction, and I also suspect a personality disorder. In general she often acts agitated, angry, and tells lies. She is estranged from my husband and I and despite efforts by both of us, I can't imagine the relationship being repaired to a healthy state any time soon. Right now my step-daughter is not interested in doing any tough personal work and hasn't been for years. Her mother is more of an enabler-type and so my step-daughter's patterns of behaving just continue on and on. Our boundary-setting and encouragement toward professional help are not encouraged by the other side of the family. Any tips from other parents or step-parents on how to let it be when an adult child is dealing with mental health issues and is not motivated to take steps to become healthier? I spend so much mental energy fretting and worrying about her life that it's affecting my own well-being, when there is nothing I can really do at this point. I'm not taking any unhealthy actions, but I just think of this sad situation so often and wish I could have more peace about it. Any words of wisdom from people who have experienced a similar situation would be greatly appreciated.

    #2
    Hi Hopper4 and welcome to the forums. I am not a parent, hopefully those who are will jump in.
    AJ

    Humans punish themselves endlessly
    for not being what they believe they should be.
    -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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      #3
      Thanks for the welcome AJ!

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        #4
        Hello and welcome Hopper4. When someone has mental illness and addiction problems it can really be a challange. The Mood Disorders of Ontario has some information on this https://www.mooddisorders.ca/guide/g...-mood-disorder ls a good place to start. At https://www.mooddisorders.ca/program...family-members they also have more information. I think that they also have family peer support group, but it may not be operating during the pandemic. However through out the website there are many helpful pages.

        They will not cure your problems with you step daughter but it may be a good starting point. I have a son with bipolar and at times that has been quite challanging. I can only support him by being there for him when and only if he wants help. Take Care. paul m
        "Alone we can do so little;
        Together we can do so much"
        Helen Keller

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          #5
          Thanks so much for the links - they were really helpful

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