Want to continue friendship with a woman but I don't know how to handle it.

[Charlene]

This summer, I met an interesting woman at the theatre class. We both find each other interesting, and I also find her smart.

We both create talk to each others and I helped her to buy a second hand car out side of class time.

I want to continue to develop our friendship after the class is finished.

How can I continue our friendship? I am over 30 and this is the second time I have friendship with a female that I like. (The first time it burned big time)

I don't want to appear as a creep or something.

[paul m]

Hello Charlene and welcome to our forums. Friends of any type usually happen in a variety of ways. The easiest way is when it is just spontaneous, that is two people just hit it off. Sometimes people get lucky and that is the way it works. (others may have a different point of view)

I've never been one of those people. Whether it's been love or friendship, I've had to work really hard to make and keep friends(not to mention my wife).

I don't really have any secrets. If I want to get to know someone better, I usually just ask them out for coffee, try to listen more than I talk and try to keep the conversation interesting.

How to keep it interesting, well I cheat, I try to think, in advance, of several neutral topics and I don't bring them up unless there is a lull in the conversation. Then hopefully I can fill in that deadly silence with something interesting. Plus if I have listened carefully enough, then I already know what some of the other persons interests are and most people like to talk about what interest them.

E-mails can also be a big factor in developing friendships as it's easier to think of something to say in advance of pressing the send button.

However I have learned that you cannot force a friendship of any kind, all you can do is try your best and hope that a friendship develops.

It was a good question and I hope that you will continue to ask more questions and/or answer other peoples questions. Take Care. paul m

[A.E.V.]

welcome to the forums Charlene!

Anne.

[Re-O]

Hi Charlene,

Paul mentioned all my ideas. Even gave me a few extraGreat question

Welcome to the forum

[Woody]

Welcome to the forum Charlene

I find simple actions to be the best. As noted before, maybe exchanging email or phone numbers if you have not done this already is a good start. Personally, I tend to prefer simple little action are the best to get the ball rolling. Again my own belief, the bigger the action the bigger it can blow up in your face Yeah I'm chicken and probably why I'm still single (not that I am actively looking)

Wish you all the best,

[Re-O]

*nods subtly to woody's comment about remaining single*

Oh how that rings true in my world.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forums Charlene.

[uni]

Welcome Charlene. Interesting question. What I would suggest are the old standbys: be a good listener, ask questions, and be yourself. She will either like you or she won't. Good luck.

Woody and Re-O, a word to the wise: when you're not actively looking is when you can be taken by surprise. I'm just saying...

[Woody]

Oh Uni the tires are flat, the paint has faded, humm the doors don't close very well... and I am not sure if I burn more oil or gas. You might need to look pretty hard to find me cause I'm the one that is parked way back at the other end of the lot behind the garage.

[Re-O]

I'd agree with Woody except I don't even have a car...

However, I do think your right about things happening when I'm not looking for it. I often wear sunglasses so people don't think I'm looking :