Note to self

[uni]

Note to self: "Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else."

[astronaut]

err.... what happened, Uni? What bad ideas were you spreading in your own head that you wouldn't tell someone else?
This "note to self" does sound like a good one though.

astronaut

[A.E.V.]

I've had someone tell me that before, because I can be so negative and hard on myself; yet I would NEVER speak of anyone else in such a manner!

[paul m]

Hello Uni. I do hope that you are ok. In reference to "not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else": You must be a far more polite person than I am as I have no problem saying some things to them that deserve.

Of course all that usually means is that I too should zip my mouth. Hope your ok. Take Care. paul m

[Kaight]

Uni - very sound advice.

Paul - nice profile pic!

[Sweetest1]

I'm like Paul, I say things to other people that I should probably keep zipped. But life's too short to bottle everything up!

[uni]

I say lots of things both to myself and others that would be better left unsaid. But then again we are all human.

The thing is, lately I've been getting angry with myself for making the same mistakes over and over. Lots of these mistakes involve self-care, like sleep/food/exercise, the usual - things I know to do, but let slide. And today I forgot my psychologist appointment - thought it was next week, and I could have used it. I've been feeling lonelier, too, since the holidays, and not calling people enough. Interpersonal communication in particular seems full of landmines lately. Either I'm too blunt, or else certain people are rather sensitive; probably a bit of both. Screwed-up sleep is a major factor and sets off a bad sequence of events. I wish I knew why my sleep is so screwed up - I'm working on that one.

How much can a person blame on menopause? (btw that's a hot-flash smiley, not an embarassed one)

I just want to feel happier in my own skin than I have been lately. I'm keeping the usual tabs on things with my self-made mood scale and have not sunk into a true depression, but a funk just the same. Things will change if I just do what I have to do, and am patient. There is one good thing to report: I've been journaling again after months of neglect, and it feels good. But some solid sleep would still help... Zzzzzz

[astronaut]

Hey Uni,

That's a huge bummer about missing the appointment; when's your next one?
Loneliness isn't good for depression. Can you make small phone call goals like: "I will call someone every other day" just to keep
you connected while you're feeling kinda low and trying to get back into a routine again? And make sure to visit the forum
everyday too if you can!

How is the walking going? I hope that you are keeping that up! You have done such a good job with it. You really need a walking
partner to meet with a couple times a week to keep it regular and to keep motivated.

keep in touch and I hope the sleeping gets better soon,
astronaut

[uni]

Thanks for the encouragement Astronaut.

I'm waiting to hear back from my psychologist as I write this, and hope the next appointment isn't too far away.

I do have a goal of talking with one positive person per day, and most days it happens. So far today it has not, but I'll remedy that. As for the walking, I've been avoiding it, so thanks for mentioning it and reminding me how important it is. I went on Monday, but nothing since unless you count a few blocks outside. It is so freaking cold out! But I'll get to an indoor track after supper if it kills me - and with luck my sister or friend will join me.

... well guess what - my friend just phoned and I'm picking her up to go walking at 6 o'clock. This bodes well

Now if I could sleep, things would be peachy

[AJ]

I can relate to the sleep problem Uni. It makes the outlook for the next day difficult to be positive. I forgot an appointment with my therapist once. Same as you, I could have used it at the time. Mine didn't charge me for the missed appointment. Did yours?

[astronaut]

Good for you for going to get that walk in with your friend, Uni. I hope you had fun, it is always better once you're out there doing it!

astronaut

[uni]

Well, it did feel good to go walking. It also, believe it or not, got me counting a blessing or two, because my friend has rheumatoid arthritis (is that what you have AJ? Did I spell it right?) and I'm not dealing with that. In any case, the walk did us both good.

As for the appointment, I wasn't charged for it so I'm thankful for that. I now have one in early February and have marked it on two calendars; now I have to remember to look at the calendars

And hallelujah! I had nine hours of solid sleep last night... there is a God

[paul m]

Hello Uni. I'm lousy at looking at calenders too, assuming of course that I even mark things on a calender in the first place.

In regards to walking, some malls have walking clubs, but they usually start way to early in the morning for me. Whenever I am room locked by bad weather I do sometimes go to the mall and walk in the afternoon.

In regards to people around me being, as you say " rather sensitive". I find that happens too. My wife usually suggests that I look in the mirror to find the real source of the problem. However I am a true believer that everyone else can be wrong.

In regards to: "How much can a person blame on menopause?" Usually I blame a lot. My wife doesn't agree. However I will let you blame menopause if I can blame andropause. I hope that you feel better soon. Take Care. paul m

[astronaut]

Hurray on the good nights sleep, Uni! Do you think that the walking helped you sleep better? My roommate is convinced that she
can't sleep properly unless she has exercised that day. There may be something to that!

astronaut

[uni]

The walking may have helped, I'm not sure. Some days I walk and sleep well, sometimes not. Sometimes I don't exercise yet sleep well. I've been trying to pin down reasons for insomnia and so far nothing is consistent. Last night I drank coffee at 5:30 pm and got 6 good hours of sleep, so go figure. Ideally I need at least 8.

My bedroom is nice and cool. I wore an eyeshade for a few nights; sometimes it helped but it kept coming off. I play soothing music; it used to always do the trick, but now only sometimes. I missed two or three days of using my SAD light because of getting up too late due to falling asleep too late, so that likely affected things.

Some days I drink coffee or tea at various hours and it doesn't seem to matter, although it does perk me up for a while. A bath will relax me but not make me sleepy. Most nights if I read or do a crossword puzzle I'll fall asleep, but not always. Sometimes I'll sleep very well on the couch with the t.v. on. Sometimes I eat before bed and that doesn't seem to matter either. Hot flashes are never good though - at least that's consistent (hot flash smiley)

Oh well. I've decided to go with the flow and what happens, happens. Worrying about will just keep me awake