Introducing hey im new

[Boomerang]

Just thought I'd say hello. I'm 29, f and from alberta. I've struggled with depression (maybe bipolar? not sure, was never diagnosed. I hate dr's) off and on for most of the last 18 yrs. I thought I was doing better as of late, but I'm also 5 months pregnant with my second child right now and a lot of bad feelings, hurt and anger I had managed to bury are coming back. idk if its the hormones or if this is normal me. I go through phases of being ok for long periods of time and then being a miserable SOB for long periods. And then theres days I'll go from being extremely happy and laughing to literally bawling in 10 secs. Anyways, thought I'd come vent on here since no one close to me understands or cares.

[uni]

Hello Boomerang, and welcome. Venting is something we do a fair bit of here. Please feel free also to share information, support, and suggestions, and just plain connect. It's nice to find others who do care and understand. As you've alluded to, the people in our everyday lives often don't have any idea what we're dealing with.

I can see how it would be confusing for you to sort out the hormonal effects from the effects of a possible mood disorder. I can't say I'm wild about doctors myself, but sometimes they are necessary in order to have a life. I don't know how people deal with pregnancy and moods, never having been in that situation, but I do know that usually the fewer meds, the better. How do you feel about talk therapy, or reading books that may help?

[Boomerang]

Hi uni and thanks for replying

The last time I went to a psychologist/therapist (if thats what you mean by talk therapy) my parents forced me to go when I was 15ish. Long story short, I have always been extremely shy around people I dont know and it took me a LOT to open up to this guy about some of things I was going through. He then immediately told my parents (the last people on the planet I wanted to share this information with - some of it was about them) and I've had little to no desire to try that route again. I tried a few times over the last few years to go to a medical dr for a referal of some kind or some sort of suggestions about what I should be doing or where I could be going, but they've all either immediately wanted to put me on drugs (something Im against for the simple reason that I'm afraid of what I'd try doing with those pills if I'm having a really bad day), patronized me and made me feel stupid or were just out right mean. I know I should try again, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I do try to read a lot, but I haven't really found anything helpful. Probably not reading the right books.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forums Boomerang! Share as little or as much as you're comfortable with. Vent anytime. You'll find that the people on these forums very supportive and friendly.

[Boomerang]

Thanks AJ!

[cbee]

Welcome Boomerang!
You'll find ppl here are warm and friendly
I've noticed that depending where I am in my cycle some months my depression can be awful. My dr has told me that hormone levels do play a part in depression/anxiety (I have a double diagnosis). I usually try to exercise more and rest when my hormones start to mess with my mental health sometimes just telling myself it's just my hormone levels can help a lot. You mentioned you're pregnant so, I'd check with my ob/gyn about exercises that won't be too strenuous on your pregnancy. I hope this helps in some way

[paul m]

Hello Boomerang and welcome. Please do not hesitate to ask questions, answer other people's questions or use the forum to vent out a few of life's frustrations. Take Care. paul m

[Incompl]

Hello Boomerang. I'm new here as well.

It's probably the hormones of pregnancy. But where you also have depression/possibly bipolar, it could make the thoughts/feelings worse I'd assume... Though I'm not a doctor.

And about doctors. They don't really care, for the most part. They're just doing their job. And at the end of the day, they can hear and understand the words, but they can't feel or understand the feelings. It's hard. I'm embarrassed about the way that I think, a lot, and so I understand how hard it can be to open up to a doctor... a complete stranger.