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    Introducing ME

    I really don't know how or where to begin. I don't even know what groups to join, as I wonder if age is relevant. So for whatever it is worth, I will start....

    I am a married person who is lonely, depressed and anxious on most days. I have panic attacks inside & out of my home. They are so bad that I feel lost & confused.

    I have spinal problems and on a 1 yr. waiting list for pain management.

    I recently saw my GP doctor and was given Celexa (started with 10mg and now 20mg). My mind is whirling and I feel I will explode. Have previously tried other meds prior, but didn't agree with me. I am on a 1 year waiting list to talk to a psychologist or councillor. At this time in my life, I feel useless.

    I have lost many dear friends through death or change of life's interests. Since 2014, three of my beloved family pets have died. I am now questioning if there is any afterlife. If not, why am I here on earth to suffer?

    {Reminiscing and missing the old day right now, missing all my old friends and the times we spent together!}

    #2
    Hello WhiteRose and welcome. I don't know if there is an afterlife or not either, I hope so, but I certainly can't guarantee it.

    I am fond of saying " I know I'm going to heaven, because I've been through hell several times and the devil didn't keep me".

    But enough of me. You've certainly seem as if you are having it rough right now. Losing three family pets in one year would be tough all in it's self, without other added problems.

    Celexa can be tough to start taking and unfortunately there is only one way to know if it will work and that is to try it for 6-8 wks. The side effects usually fade after the first mth at maximum dosage and if they don't you should talk with your doctor.

    I can't speak for anyone else, but volunteering made me feel less useless and helped to give me a reason to get up in the morning. Plus when I'm busy helping others I can't dwell on my own problems as much.

    You may also want to get your doctor to give you a very through physical as a lot of physical problems can cause a wide variety of mental problems. Unfortunately when docs give physicals they often don't ck for things like B-12 deficiencies, parkinsons and other illnesses that can create havoc with our mental wellness.

    Please continue to ask questions, answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out a few of life's frustrations. Sometimes just venting is good for us. Take Care. paul m
    "Alone we can do so little;
    Together we can do so much"
    Helen Keller

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      #3
      I have poor internet connection today so I'm just going to welcome you to the forum WhiteRose.
      AJ

      Humans punish themselves endlessly
      for not being what they believe they should be.
      -Don Miguel Ruiz-

      Comment


        #4
        Hello WhiteRose, and welcome. Thank you for sharing about what's happening in your life right now. It sounds like you've been dealing with a great deal of loss and pain; my heart goes out to you. How have things been going since you posted? How have you been since you last posted?
        uni

        ~ it's always worth it ~

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          #5
          Thank you Uni. I am having unresolved computer problems now for the past few days. Will try to update, as soon as I figure out how to do this.

          Comment


            #6
            I don't know how to continue my thread, so I will post as a response. Perhaps someone can guide me with this....

            Thank you Paul & Uni for your caring response.

            I thought of so much that I wanted to say, but here I am again lost...

            I have had various physical problems since 2014, including a total hip replacement. Surgery was performed in June 2015. Because of complications during surgery (bone fracture at joint) I was not able to walk on 2 feet for six weeks. I was sent to a private residence for convalescence. The hospital sends you to any available place at a cost. Not only was the surgery a shock to my physical being but my mental state was definitely affected. When I arrived at the residence, I was greeted by the administration and a dozen of faces with blank stares. I panicked - where was I? I was brought up to the 2nd floor to my room #6. The admins questioned me and with my reluctance, settled me in and left. There was no phone, no TV and no A/C. (Someone eventually loaned me a TV) Some other residents peeped into my room and spoke in extremely low voices that couldn’t be heard. Some didn't speak at all. Well, I soon found out where I was! The government sent me to a place where the people were sadly stricken with dementia and/or Alzheimer’s. I had to spend 8 weeks at that place with no interaction other than with a couple of staff who didn't speak English. 98% of the time, I had to eat in my room, as I couldn't fit into their dining room with a wheel chair. When I a little more able to hobble on one foot to the elevator down to the dining room, I did my best to socialize. That didn't go over too well, as all these poor people did on a daily basis, was eat, sit around the TV in and sleep. I had no visitors, except my faithful hubby. Others gave me all different excuses - can't go to that kind of a place or thought you weren't up to it and so on. I was only allowed one weekly shower with assistance! I felt so darn humiliated. Every morning, against doctor & staff's orders, I hobbled to the bathroom to get washed in the sink. I had to get up at 5am to beat the bathroom traffic. During the first few days I was there, I started to hemorrhage and was rushed to another hospital in an ambulance. I stayed there for around 5 days & underwent tests. I was told it was imperative that I have a procedure called a polypectomy and had it done in January 2016. To our shock they found & removed 8 polyps, one of which had started to be cancerous. The surgeon told me not to worry "I was lucky, he got it in time". OK, I will try not to worry, but have to go back to have more removed. Will they find something else? I'm expecting a call in the next week. Never in my life, have I been paranoid about health issues. So, this is one of my reasons I feel I am suffering from PTSD. As I mentioned in my initial post, I am on the waiting list to speak to a so-called councillor. But, I may not need to go there after finding this amazing place, where I can vent.

            Paul, I agree with you when you stated "I can't speak for anyone else, but volunteering made me feel less useless and helped to give me a reason to get up in the morning. Plus when I'm busy helping others I can't dwell on my own problems as much." I had worked as a professional accountant for most of my life and then found a niche that I loved. I am an animal advocate and for years, was a volunteer animal activist. I founded an organization and recruited members. It is unregistered and non-profit. We are the voices for those who cannot speak for themselves. But in 2014, when I couldn't stand or walk without pain, I had to back off my activism. After staying at that residence, I was asked by one of another resident's daughters to visit her Mom. I felt I wanted to help and volunteer. I only went one time and after that thought it wasn't the right place for me at this time. My Aunt had Alzheimer's and died after spending 7 years in a special residence. I used to go to be with her twice a week, but in the end it was getting very depressing. So that's it for now. Until next time, keep well and thank you once again. I do appreciate the support.

            "The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

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              #7
              Hello WhiteRose. To continue the thread just click on reply. To start a new thread click on the word "Forum" which is about 2 inches down from the top and next to the title "What's New". Then just click on" post a new thread"

              A word of advice, if you haven't found out the hard way already. The forum will log you out automatically if you take too long to write a post and you may lose what you have written. This can be avoided by either regularly clicking on "preview post" or by cking the box that sez "remember me " when you log in.

              You have had extra problems to deal with in the last few yrs and that can add to depression and anxiety and you are certainly welcome to vent out some of your frustrations/anxieties/fears here. I include fears, not because I think that you are fearful, but I know there is a very fine line between my own anxieties and things that I fear.

              Getting older is certainly the pits in most cases, I know I hate the way my body is falling apart.

              In regards to the polyps that still have to be removed. I can't guarantee anything, but surgeons generally can tell almost by looking at them which polyps are the worse and they tend to take out the worse ones first. However I can understand how nerve wracking the wait can be. Good Luck with everything. Take Care. paul m
              "Alone we can do so little;
              Together we can do so much"
              Helen Keller

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