Living with a person who is PTSD, DYSLEXIC, ILLITERATE & ANGRY

[WhiteRose]

After my 1st husband died, I married my childhood sweetheart. We’ve been married for 36 years.

For the past few days, my anxiety level has been causing my head to scream! I am having panic attacks and I am losing my patience. All this came on for various reasons…

Last year, my husband saw a doctor because of his extreme anger and violence towards me. She sent him for anger management, but he still has anger issues for no apparent reason. Of course, he denies it. But I will put that anger topic aside for now.

• PTSD - My husband was never diagnosed with PTSD. I am not a doctor, but I think he has this disorder and should be treated. He gets up every morning and is like an overcharged battery until he falls asleep around 8pm. He’s like the road runner and I just can’t keep up! Example: When I want to show him something I have to have it ready or he will mutter to himself and walk quickly/run away. I get so darn nervous! Many arguments have ensued because of this. And with the arguments, his anger spews out! What a vicious cycle!

• DYSLEXIC & ILLITERATE - I never knew that my husband was dyslexic or wasn’t able to write or read well. I remember when we were young and were meeting somewhere; he’d always carry a newspaper under his arm. I only found out about this problem after we were married. I helped him as much as I could by convincing him to go for special courses. He did and today he enjoys reading, but writes very little. But, for all these years, I have to do all the paper work i.e. financial and communications, etc. In the past, when we’ve had law suits, I had to do all the research and prepare the dossiers. To top it off, we live in the so-called French province of Quebec. He does not speak or understand the language. I need to hire contractors for home repairs and dread all that is ahead of me.


If I speak to anyone in my family about my frustrations, they say “Oh well, you married him” or “Get a divorce”. At this moment, I am so overwhelmed with everything. I feel like I’m unravelling. So without further ado, I will have to sign off for now. Thanks for listening.

If anyone has any feedback, it would be greatly appreciated. Of course, I know I have to take a deep breath….

[paul m]

Hello WhiteRose. Sounds like a really tough situation. Unfortunately you cannot force a person to take treatment for an illness and literacy and language become harder to change as we age.

That doesn't mean that you have to sit and take abuse or not get help for yourself. You may have already tried joint marriage counselling, but if you haven't it may help. Counselling for your anxieties may also help you find different ways to deal with them.

Many times people are trapped in a situation that they cannot or do not want to get out of, but at the same time, need to find some relief from. That is where a skilled therapist or doctor can help. Often a person skilled in dealing with personal conflicts can suggest ways that we have not thought of to avoid or deflect the enormous pain that we often feel when someone wrongs us.

If nothing else, sometimes venting out a few of your frustrations on here may help. We are certainly not therapists and often it is impossible to type what could be said in 15 minutes, but we are friendly and most of us certainly understand frustration.

I could give you a list of some of the things that I do to try and deal with my frustrations and anxieties, but my situation is much different than yours. However if you would like to hear how I deal with anxieties, I would be more than happy to share. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m