getting caught up in other peoples emotions

[teri]

i was wondering if anybody has any advice or tips on how not to get caught up peoples moods. I have a few girls that i work with that are always complaining or in a bad mood i find myself feeding off of them or if they are grumpy i think that its my fault and they hate me . I have struggled with this issue my entire life.I really want to move past it but don't know how?Help please

[paul m]

Hello Teri. A number of people still hate me from yrs ago! However that is their problem not mine. There are others that I think hate me, but could care less about me and in no way are unfriendly, it's just my imagination.

However working with or being around negative people can be bad for me. (I can be quit negative too if I allow myself. )

I find the easiest way to combat negativity is to always try and be friendly and smiling. I say good morning to everyone I meet that I even vaguely know and quite a few that I don't know. Some will say,"what's good about it" but to those people I tend to just say, well, it's good for me.

It's surprising just how a few people can turn a toxic environment around. Perhaps not make it a happy environment, but less toxic. In regards to blaming your self about making others grumpy, that can happen, but unless you are trying hard to get under someones skin then there is no reason to think that you are making people grumpy.

There are some perfectly nice people in this world that I just don't like interacting with, however for the most part we are not to blame for other people's moods,

I don't know you, but you seem like a likable person, so tell yourself that. Positive reaffirmation can make a big difference in a persons life. Say to yourself several times a days" I'm a good person with a few problems, not a bad person with good excuses. (I don't even have to know you to know that you have a few problems as everyone has problems ). Often it's the self doubts that can keep us from being happier in any environment. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m

[uni]

Hello Teri. I can relate to what you've described. I worked in an environment that didn't start out toxic, but gradually became so over the years. Coffee time even became a downer. I finally came to look at it as this: I am the pebble that is thrown into the water, I send out ripples, and those ripples affect those around me. I realized that had a choice as to what sort of ripples I sent out. It was remarkable, when I paid attention, the difference a small positive or lighthearted comment from me would make. Or at the very least, if I didn't chime in verbally, as long as I remained calm it didn't add to the negative spiral or chaos.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forum Teri.