Hi all,
After being here a little bit, thought I should introduce myself and share some of my story.
I'm a 42-year-old musician and graduate student who has had mental health issues since childhood. My current diagnosis is bipolar, but some question now as to whether schizoaffective disorder might be more appropriate (symptoms don't line up neatly and I have things that are supposed to rule out the other but here we are...) When I was younger, the depressive side was most prevalent, and my first suicidal thoughts were at the age of 5, with my first attempt at 13. My last of three serious attempt landed me in hospital for an extended period of time (months, not years, but can't say how many as time worked differently in the institutions.) This came at the end of a long full-on manic episode with mixed features that landed me in a different country. I was 19. The biggest challenge after finding the right diagnosis was finding what normal ought to be - I lacked almost all childhood memories and never had an "i feel like myself again moment." But eventually found medications that brought stability that I could handle, found jobs and relationships. For several years did not need constant medication. And then for ten years needed nothing stronger than whiskey and cigarettes. I was probably never completely without symptoms, however not so strong that they interfered with my life. But then earlier this year the hallucinations and rapid mood swings returned, and I am about 7 months in of trying to achieve stability again. Doing well, but not quite there yet. Managed goal 1 of staying out of hospital, and goal 2 of keeping my job and being able to continue my studies.
I'm married (now for the second and much better time!) and have two cats and a rabbit. And that's me in a nutshell. I'm here to join conversations, maybe reach out for help on occasion, and have a place where I can talk about things with people who know what some or many of these things are like.
After being here a little bit, thought I should introduce myself and share some of my story.
I'm a 42-year-old musician and graduate student who has had mental health issues since childhood. My current diagnosis is bipolar, but some question now as to whether schizoaffective disorder might be more appropriate (symptoms don't line up neatly and I have things that are supposed to rule out the other but here we are...) When I was younger, the depressive side was most prevalent, and my first suicidal thoughts were at the age of 5, with my first attempt at 13. My last of three serious attempt landed me in hospital for an extended period of time (months, not years, but can't say how many as time worked differently in the institutions.) This came at the end of a long full-on manic episode with mixed features that landed me in a different country. I was 19. The biggest challenge after finding the right diagnosis was finding what normal ought to be - I lacked almost all childhood memories and never had an "i feel like myself again moment." But eventually found medications that brought stability that I could handle, found jobs and relationships. For several years did not need constant medication. And then for ten years needed nothing stronger than whiskey and cigarettes. I was probably never completely without symptoms, however not so strong that they interfered with my life. But then earlier this year the hallucinations and rapid mood swings returned, and I am about 7 months in of trying to achieve stability again. Doing well, but not quite there yet. Managed goal 1 of staying out of hospital, and goal 2 of keeping my job and being able to continue my studies.
I'm married (now for the second and much better time!) and have two cats and a rabbit. And that's me in a nutshell. I'm here to join conversations, maybe reach out for help on occasion, and have a place where I can talk about things with people who know what some or many of these things are like.
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