Newbie

[Kashley]

Hey everyone,

My name is Kashley - people call me Kash for short. Life story ahead so please bear with me..

In 2012, after having had a particularly rough year, I went to my family doctor for some help and she "diagnosed" me with agoraphobia and offered anti-depressants - which I turned down.
In 2016, my husband and I decided to switch doctors as I didn't really like mine, and in doing so I decided that I wanted a proper relationship with someone who was going to be dealing with my health, and therefore I needed to be completely honest and forthcoming. I explained to my doctor that I would probably lie to him in the future, I would tell him I was fine when I wasn't because I wouldn't want the hassle of dealing face to face and would be eager to come back home. The conclusion was to have a personal appointment for my mental health.

During this designated appointment, my new doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist at the local hospital.
At my first appointment with the psychiatrist, after much deliberation, I was diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder type 2.

I'm still actively seeing my psychiatrist and will begin a group therapy over the summer.


- Kashley.

[AJ]

Welcome to the forum Kash. (or do you prefer Kashley?)

[paul m]

Hello Kash and welcome. Anti-depressants certainly aren't the usual front line defense when it comes to dealing with agoraphobia, as agoraphobia is usually caused by anxieties. I hope that your group therapy goes well this summer.

I think that all of us have lied to a doc a time or two (or just speaking for myself a couple of 100 times LOL) about the true state of our mental health. I find it easier to write down how I'm feeling and what my moods have been like. It helps me explain better without speaking so much. Mood charts are better still as the doc can see what you moods have been like without having to ask a lot of questions.

Just a word of caution. Antidepressants can be quite helpful for many people, but for those of us with bipolar, A/D's will make about 30% of us become manic and we can sometimes remain manic for a very long time when taking A/D's. Take Care. paul m

[Kashley]

AJ - Either one is fine.

Paul M - Yes, that was mentioned. My previous doctor didn't bother with looking further into the "why" of my situation and if she had - my mental health may have been properly addressed even earlier than this year. I failed to mention above, but I also have PTSD - hence the group therapy. I'm nervous about it honestly.

My psych would like to put me on medication, which has also become a source of anxiety.. She mentioned Abilify as something she'd like to try first - but I need to stop breastfeeding before I can start taking medication. I'll likely surf the forums for any experiences shared about this medication...

[paul m]

Hello Kash. In regards to Abilify. In order to explain it I have to give you some history. Abilify is what is now called an atypical anti psychotic or modern day anti-psychotic. There are about 1/2 dozen or so in regular use. Please don't let the name anti-psychotic scare you, over the years they've also been called major tranquilizer and when that became a bad word they were called neuroleptics for a while and now atypical antipsychotics (AAS as I'm too lazy to write atypical anti psychotics a lot LOL) . For every good word said about AAS's, 5 bad words have been said on the internet.

I have no medical training and the following are just my own thoughts, the result of my own research and observances among my friends and people that I correspond with.

Most AAS have roughly the same effect on people. That is they will slow down your brain if you take the right dosage and if your brain needs slowing down. They all have similar side effects, some people react worse than the next person to any given drug, but you will hear about the same side effects for all of the AAS family. For example, with me seroquel (an AAS) would zombify me at 600 mg , but others that I new could take up to 1200 mg and that much made them steady as a rock.

Seroquel was a major factor in my getting well as it allowed my brain to heal and it allowed me to slowly introduce other meds that had less side effects and worked just as well. It also allowed me time to learn about my illness and not have my brain racing every day. The side effects were also very predictable. I hated the side effects, but without it I probably wouldn't have got better. Large doses of seroquel left me lethargic and all AAS's are known for making a person gain weight. Having said that it's easier to lose the weight afterwards than it is to keep making bad decisions on acct of mania or trying to commit suicide due to depression.

The main problem that I have had with anti psychotics is that many doctors often prescribe and forget. That is they get you to a place where you are stable and then leave you on that dosage forever. I did need to be on it for a while, but I didn't need to be on it forever or at least I didn't need to be on the high dose that I was on for as long as I was. Do I recommend the use of AAS's ? For me and my son (he also has bipolar) they were a God send, I hated them, but they did work. However each person has to make up their own mind. Would I take them for a life time? That's a different story as they can have some nasty long term side effects.

Also if I ever felt that my current meds were allowing my bipolar to get out of control I would be back on seroquel in a flash because it works for me. I would hate it, but I would take it for a while.

I've never taken Abilify, but I would expect that the results are much the same as other AAS's that I've been on. Perhaps someone else on here has been on abilify and can offer advice as well.

In regards to ADHD, I think that doctors say that about every other person with bipolar. You may indeed have ADHD, but it is very hard to tell until you get the bipolar under control. Some symptoms of bipolar are often a racing mind, the inability to concentrate at times, difficulties paying attention and/or inappropriate behaviour at times which are also the symptoms of ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD by several doctors, however now that my bipolar is under reasonable control I no longer have symptoms of ADHD.

Please don't hesitate to ask questions here as you are entering a very scary part of your life (at least it was for me). I've never taken group therapy, but I have taken part in peer support and I found the help invaluable. Take Care. paul m

P.S. I mention the fact that our brains need time to heal. There may be a better description, but usually we don't get ill with bipolar in a day and it takes more than a day to get better. When I say time to heal I mean time for our neural pathways to return to normal. While developing bipolar we can also pick up some anxieties and other problems that need to be addressed as well.

[Kashley]

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 7th grade.. so over 15 years ago. My psych re-evaluated the diagnosis when she diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I was previously medicated with concerta for ADHD when I was first diagnosed. That just made me feel zombified and I stopped taking them.

My bipolar likely developed later on in highschool - that's about the time I started really noticing my low moods, however in 8th grade I was cutting - so who knows.
Anyway, I don't doubt the validity of my diagnosis.

I am not keen on the idea of gaining weight.. and other side effects I've read up on are also nerve wracking.