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New Member_Father of 16year old who really struggles with mental health issues

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    New Member_Father of 16year old who really struggles with mental health issues

    Hello all.......New to the site. I directly do not feel the effects of mental health, but indirectly It effects me big time. By son struggles.......not really sure if its depression, anxiety, bi polar......or other. Me and my wife have always said after ready all the signs of symtoms of all the disorders is that 'Matthew has a little bit of this, some of that, etc'. We are well connected to doctors...assessments, tests, etc. We are trying to figure out all the different medications available.
    He has come along way since the symptoms started at a very young age. What i am looking for from this site is to gain as much knowledge as i can.....to be able to help him as best i can. Our main concern right now is that he does not want to do anything. He used to love fishing and hunting, hiking and stuff, but now he tells me he wants to do these things but cant bring himself to actually go when the time comes.

    ......thats just the start!

    #2
    Hello, Mike. I also had a 16 yr old who struggled with many things. As time went on things changed so be prepared for possible changes to occur. The best thing you can do is get him involved with mental health services. Early intervention produces the best outcomes. There is a lot of information on this site that I’m finding helpful for myself. Make sure you keep your marriage as healthy as you can by taking care of each other. Sometimes we can lose ourselves in our kids.

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      #3
      Welcome to the forum mike999
      AJ

      Humans punish themselves endlessly
      for not being what they believe they should be.
      -Don Miguel Ruiz-

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        #4
        thanks for the replies......finding it really tough to know how hard to push my son, as he can have a nasty temper when pushed to hard. and I mean Nasty. So its like we are being bullied by him, as he does what he wants when he wants....which is usually doing nothing.....

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          #5
          Mike999, sorry you folks are feeling bullied by your son. Do you have professional help? If not I would get that in place asap. I have not experienced being bullied but have felt helpless and not had a clue what to do. My friends son decided he would be the boss of the house at 17! He was drinking, drugging and having parties....punching holes in her wall and was suicidal.

          She had to get the police involved and they were really helpful to her and that put him in his place and got him to begin getting psychiatric help. The police were really good with the kid so she was lucky that she had a great police dept in her area and they steered him toward mental health and protected him from the justice system although he went to a juvenile detention centre for a few weeks.

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            #6
            Originally posted by Rosey View Post
            Mike999, sorry you folks are feeling bullied by your son. Do you have professional help? If not I would get that in place asap. I have not experienced being bullied but have felt helpless and not had a clue what to do. My friends son decided he would be the boss of the house at 17! He was drinking, drugging and having parties....punching holes in her wall and was suicidal.

            She had to get the police involved and they were really helpful to her and that put him in his place and got him to begin getting psychiatric help. The police were really good with the kid so she was lucky that she had a great police dept in her area and they steered him toward mental health and protected him from the justice system although he went to a juvenile detention centre for a few weeks.
            Thanks Rosey, Yes that is very similar to where we are at. He is experimenting drinking and smoking weed and when we approached him about it and took the weed he freaked out.....and thats when the cops were called. This happened on 3 occasions over the last 3 months. Punching holes in the wall as well as destroying anything in his path.
            And yes, we do have professional help, we had lots assessments done and we are seeing paediatrician regularly. Problem is he doesn't want to go see any of them. We make appointments and when its time wont. Even had people come to us.....most times he wont meet with them. I have no signs or reason to believe he is suicidal.......but i am watching for it.

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              #7
              Mike999, sorry just read your original post again. You have lots of professional help in place for your son. This article talks about how to help with teen behaviour and although you have most likely seen this info before I always found if I can get one morsel of helpful information then it was worth the read.

              My friends son was diagnosed with depression and it was the mental health court that directed him to follow his doctors and therapists treatment or go back to the justice system. He wisely followed the help of his health care providers and was diagnosed with bipolar.

              Unfortunately for my son he developed schizophrenia and has been severely disabled by this since the age of 17 and he is now 40. I know the CMHA in Toronto has an excellent family education course. What was most helpful for me was to seek help from therapists for myself and to connect to support groups. There will be times when all you are doing is the best you can do and at others times you may have to wait for the window of opportunity to present itself before you can take action. Lean on his care providers for help.

              https://www.helpguide.org/articles/p...bled-teens.htm

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