The last while I've been feeling fatigued from all this pandemic stuff, tired of too much of my own company, discouraged by physical aches and pains, concerned about finances, bored sometimes (unusual for me), still grieving my brother's death, worried about the future, uncertain about almost everything it seems. Those are my woes. I keep track of my moods and they've been a bit low (not too bad, but not all that good). Fear and anxiety want to creep in.
Having said all that, this morning I woke up with a better outlook. Sometimes that just happens for no apparent reason. But I can think of a couple of reasons as well. First, the sciatic pain I'm getting physio for is less at the moment. Second, I talked with a friend yesterday about how we've both been "taking inventory" of ourselves and our situations, and gaining insights. This is when I realized I'm missing some good old intellectual and meaningful conversation. I'm lacking that. I miss the coffee times with friends and family, and the time spent walking and talking together. There are several people in my world who are in their 70's and 80's, and some who are younger but physically vulnerable, so I'm distancing for the most part. There's a visit here and there, outside mostly, on lawn chairs, but the weather is cooling off and that requires re-thinking. Thankfully my 12-step group is meeting in person now, with protocols in place, and that helps. But things are just out of kilter and that's that.
I'm thinking about how to improve things. It starts with me. It starts with reminding myself what my true values are, and whether I'm living them. Some I am. Others I've forgotten about. I value my physical and mental health. I'm doing not too bad, but could step a couple of things up there. I value my spirituality, and need to listen more to that connection. I value my relationships, and am considering web meetings or something similar once the snow flies. One family member has a "wine night" over the web with friends and says it work s great. They meet on zoom and drink their wine at their respective homes, and have a few laughs. I hope to set up a "coffee date" with my siblings if they're willing to try it.
I have a list of values. A literal list. Safety and security are on there. Also fun and kindness and accomplishment and creativity and community and learning. There are more. I'm not aiming for perfection. I'm aiming to pay a little more attention to them in my daily life.
Writing this has helped my mental health, creativity, sense of accomplishment, relationships (I feel I have some here), and I've learned something too. I've learned a lot just by putting my thoughts out here where I can see them, and letting others see them, and hope that makes a difference somehow. So I feel happy about that, because in a small way I've lived a few of my values. The next thing is to see if I can find some way to have fun today. I have no idea what that will involve, but I'll think of something, even something small. Because l can use a laugh or two. And because I always get a charge out of this emoticon and like an excuse to use it
I hope you and I can find a laugh or a smile in something today
Having said all that, this morning I woke up with a better outlook. Sometimes that just happens for no apparent reason. But I can think of a couple of reasons as well. First, the sciatic pain I'm getting physio for is less at the moment. Second, I talked with a friend yesterday about how we've both been "taking inventory" of ourselves and our situations, and gaining insights. This is when I realized I'm missing some good old intellectual and meaningful conversation. I'm lacking that. I miss the coffee times with friends and family, and the time spent walking and talking together. There are several people in my world who are in their 70's and 80's, and some who are younger but physically vulnerable, so I'm distancing for the most part. There's a visit here and there, outside mostly, on lawn chairs, but the weather is cooling off and that requires re-thinking. Thankfully my 12-step group is meeting in person now, with protocols in place, and that helps. But things are just out of kilter and that's that.
I'm thinking about how to improve things. It starts with me. It starts with reminding myself what my true values are, and whether I'm living them. Some I am. Others I've forgotten about. I value my physical and mental health. I'm doing not too bad, but could step a couple of things up there. I value my spirituality, and need to listen more to that connection. I value my relationships, and am considering web meetings or something similar once the snow flies. One family member has a "wine night" over the web with friends and says it work s great. They meet on zoom and drink their wine at their respective homes, and have a few laughs. I hope to set up a "coffee date" with my siblings if they're willing to try it.
I have a list of values. A literal list. Safety and security are on there. Also fun and kindness and accomplishment and creativity and community and learning. There are more. I'm not aiming for perfection. I'm aiming to pay a little more attention to them in my daily life.
Writing this has helped my mental health, creativity, sense of accomplishment, relationships (I feel I have some here), and I've learned something too. I've learned a lot just by putting my thoughts out here where I can see them, and letting others see them, and hope that makes a difference somehow. So I feel happy about that, because in a small way I've lived a few of my values. The next thing is to see if I can find some way to have fun today. I have no idea what that will involve, but I'll think of something, even something small. Because l can use a laugh or two. And because I always get a charge out of this emoticon and like an excuse to use it
I hope you and I can find a laugh or a smile in something today
It's also funny because I'm currently watching a video series about the English royal family, so I can actually "see" King George in that joke. Assuming it's George VI. That scamp Edward, his brother, really pulled a fast one leaving all the work to George, in my opinion. I had an uncle born during Edward's short reign and his name was Edward. Just a random tidbit of little interest to anyone here lol
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